27

27 Months.

I used to worry a lot about Mason. I still worry.

I am not seeing any progress at all during his 12-18 months. I got really scared. Then I realized, I wasn’t teaching him enough. I don’t even talk to him, I just let him watch TV all day.

Now that he is 27 months (last Oct 3rd to be exact), he is really delayed in speech I am sure of that, but the progress is remarkable. His receptive language is growing and improving. He can now Identify correctly his, eyes, nose and ears. He knows his animal stuff toys, like cat, fish, duck, cow, dog, bird, shark and other familiar animal pictures. He can count but he can only pronounce 2, 6, 7 and 8, well that’s better than nothing right?  Lol. He can also Identify some things like the train, there’s this one time that he got his Book, he brought it to me and pointed at the train while saying “Chu. Chu”, he also knows what the meaning of “Hot”, when the water is hot, or the food is still hot, he’ll raise his hand and say “Hot”. He signs all done after eating and drinking his milk. He also knows now “Ouchie” means boo boo.

Again, a lot of pointing and joint attention is happening and I am so glad about it.

I can say that he is learning a lot!!! I am so amazed with his improvements, I know we still have a long way to go but he learns and that is all that matters. Maybe his playschool helped or enhance some things, but I really don’t know, if he is improving, I am contented.

What frustrates me nowadays is that he throws tantrums all the time or when I am with him? I noticed that his tantrums are more frequent when we are together. I get emotional, I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I end up hurting him and I feel so guilty afterwards. My mother said that he is not like that when I am not around. So is it true that they are most misbehaved when with Moms? hehe!

His last day at playschool has ended last Oct 10 and I decided to let him rest because he still has coughs and colds. I plan to enroll him again this November until December before Christmas holiday.

I just hope everything progresses as expected. 🙂

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26

He turned 26 months today.

I am in absolute awe with the progress that he is making. He has German measles right now, but he seems to be not that affected. I think, it is because, it is just a mild one. Hopefully, he’ll recover soon because I am excited for him to start his school.

Recently, we can see that Mason has been learning a lot, remembering a lot and doing new things even though we teach him only a few times in a day. The thing that makes me giddy is that he is trying to sing (even though we cannot really understand his babblings) but the sounds and tone is somewhat like the song and he seems to be singing along with me whenever I sing ABCs or Johnny, Johnny and other songs he is familiar with.

He also knows now a lot of his toys names and labels. Also, he is now learning or doing pointing, a big thing for me because he knows seems to know how to communicate or answer to our questions by pointing and showing. He has improved a lot and I am somewhat relieved. We went to a store and there’s a toy that he wants but it was situated in the upper corner of the shelf..so he was looking at it and then he looked at me. I told him to point what it is that he wants then he pointed this cute train, so I got him the train and he was so happy he could not get his hands off of it. There’s a lot of pointing and I am so so happy about it like the time that he pointed the kinder joy egg surprise at a convenience store it was again out of his reach so he pointed and I got him the egg. I am so happy that he’s now communicating by pointing. He Also learns new sign language and he seems to be imitating more of our movements and actions.

But one thing that makes me really frustrated is that he learned how to bang his head ☹, it seems that he does this to attract attention but whenever I try to ignore he stops, so I guess like all the tantrums, you just have to ignore so that he’ll not depend on this whenever he does not get what he wants. He seems to know how to self sooth because we do not have any tantrums for so long. I think, it makes him more frustrated especially at times when I ask him to do things and he gets really stubborn and does not want to follow me, but most of the times he does (when he’s in good mood)

I can sense that there are just some delays, but he will catch up soon. I have my full trust in him and I know that once he starts his playschool. He’ll learn more things and sooner or later, I’ll be able to hear him say, “Mommy” very clearly. He is growing so much and I get so excited every time he tries to do or learn something new. I think, progress is great than no progress at all right? Especially that we do not have any interventions at all aside from teaching him at home. I feel like he’s progress more when his school starts.

My toddler goes to school

Playschool.

Today, we enrolled Mason at a playschool two rides away from our house. It’s for 2.5 hours and will start next week.

I am excited and really looking forward for all the things that he’ll learn for the whole session. Btw, we only signed him up for a month, we want to see first if he’ll enjoy or progress more with the help of this progressive playschool.

We had his 2×2 and 1×1 photo taken at the mall. He did not cry and the lights and ambiance inside the studio did not upset him. However, I think, he was unsure of what was happening but we manage to get a picture of him looking at the camera. He looked like an adult! LOL

As you know, I am really anticipating for him speak or say his first words and I hope that registering him in this playschool would help him to somehow be motivated to speak and to socialize with other kids. I have mentioned previously that we had a trial class before we decided to enroll him and we felt that he enjoyed it and it seems that he cooperated and participated in the class. I am keeping my hopes up and feeling positive about this and I just felt that this could really benefit Mason a lot.

The schedule is quite difficult on my part because I need to wake up early (I work mid shift btw) and then wait for him until the end of the class to fetch him. Well, this is motherhood so I have no choice. LOL.

Recently, I try to think of his progress and not his shortcomings. I read somewhere that if your child is progressing without any intervention or whatsoever, it just shows that he is a late bloomer but if he is regressing and seems to not be coping, showing meltdowns and other behavioral issues then something might be wrong. So far, his tantrums are just tantrums, he can easily be distracted, he can usually calm himself, he is good with transitions, he also eats a lot and no issues with any sensory related behaviors.

It’s hard being a mother or a parent. Things will constantly bug you down and sometimes you lost all your track because you always let it haunt you daily. I would really love to talk to a mom who had experienced all of this and turned out nothing to be worried about.

25

My Darling.

He just turned 25months old and still no functional words.

I don’t know if I’ll be really sad or still worried, but a lot of people are telling me to slow down and wait for his turn.

Recently I am trying to expose him to public places especially with kids so that he’ll learn and participate socially.

We had a trial class last July 25 at a nearby Progressive Playschool. It was a 2.5 hrs class session, we can stay and watch him but it is recommended to leave him and just wait outside. We left him with the teachers and other Kids. We can only hear them but I can sense that he is getting along well, I heard him cry once but he was able to calm himself easily. After the class, the teacher gave his artwork, and shared some of the things that he did like playing blocks, lego and eating snacks with his classmates. The teacher said that he tried to grab some of the food of his other classmate, maybe because he likes chocolates. Overall, I think that he enjoyed it because even though he was sleepy, he tried to stay awake until the end of the session.

It seems that Mason is really getting so naughty and all over the place nowadays. He is always moving, running and likes to play hide and seek whenever we are in the mall. (It makes me soooo exhausted) Although it seems that Mason throws more tantrums, he knows and understands more words now and he tries his best to communicate with us.

Things Mason knows and can now do:

He knows the word Jump. He jumps when I says so and sometimes he will say “Ja”

He knows how to shake, I always ask him to shake his drinks or milk before drinking. While shaking he will sometimes say “shi”

One time I was teaching him the animal sounds and he tries to copy me, still needs more practice though.

He knows how to wake up someone, when I say “ Wake up dad”, he will shrug his dad and will babble.

He knows and does Flying kiss, I know I just recently taught him this. I bit late but well at least.

When I say, Quiet! Or How to say quiet, he’ll put fingers in his mouth and try to say ssshhh.

He knows the word blow and he knows how to blow! I just wish he was able to do this on his 2nd birthday so he could blow his own candles. Hehe. But, playing bubbles and eating hot food is easier now because when I ask him to blow, he will blow.

He knows how to Hug. Also another thing that I just taught him recently. I noticed that he kisses people even though he just met them like other kids or my friends. So, I taught him to hug so that he’ll hug them instead of kissing (because kissing is for mom, dad and other relatives only! 😊 )

Just this week, he had another viral cough and colds so his nose is always runny. I also saw this at the playschool as the teachers try to ask them to wipe their nose or mouth when it is full of saliva. So, I taught him this and in just a day, he already knows what to do when I give him towel or tissues and ask to wipe his nose or mouth.

I like to tickle him so I taught him to raise his hands so I can tickle his armpits. Whenever I say “hands up” he raises his arms and I tickle them hehehe.

He follows more instructions now without having to use gestures. Whenever I asks him to get the water or drink the water, he does. I also asks or tells him to “give this to daddy” or “give that to mommy” and he will give whatever it is he is holding.

He is progressing so much and I can sense that slowly he is getting there. I think that the only thing that should keep me worried is if he is not progressing or learning new things (or it is hard for him to learn simple things) I have read that receptive language is important before he learns expressive language. I just wish that he’ll talk soon so that there’ll be less tantrums and less worries for me.  😊

Playing by ear

It has been 3 months already (since I really focused on Mason’s speech) and Mason is now 2 years old.

My mind still wanders on when he’ll start to say words or use words. There’s some progress and I can sense that he is on his way, I just need to be more patient and really put my faith and trust that he will start to say his first words daily on his own time. I know not every child is the same and they all have their own milestone timeline and I hope that Mason’s speech timeline would soon explode. I just can’t wait for the time that I can talk to him and ask him what he wants for dinner, what toy he wants to buy or where do he want to go? Ahh Motherhood!

I have read and watched some videos about how to encourage words using toys or things. One thing that I am sure that Mason will like is blowing some bubbles. Last week, I asked him if he wants to play and blow bubbles, of course he did not respond, he just looked at me, however, I continued my words and said “Let’s play some bubbles, lets blow bubbles”, when I started blowing the bubbles, I heard him say “buh buls” and he repeated it when I blew some more bubbles. My mom and I looked at each other, making sure if we heard the same thing.

Then just this week, we were eating in a restaurant and once Mason finished his meal, he was out of control and wants to go out or walk around, we didn’t want him to do that until we all finish our food so we had no choice but to resort in using the phone and let him watch ABC Phonics for a few minutes. He was watching ABC Song and while it was playing we heard him voicing out some letters and following the song. My partner and I looked at each other amazed. After eating, we went to the department store to buy some things and then went home. Before we sleep we were playing my Mom’s own version of itsy bitsy spider, but this time it is called “Haba-haba kamay” same actions though, in which your fingers will run through the other’s arm and then at the end will tickle the armpits or neck. I was playing this to Mason and then I asked him, “Mason, can you Haba haba Mommy?” then he did it.. with matching sounds but high pitched.. he was saying “haba haba haba.. haba” in a high note. I asked him to do this to Daddy and my partner was laughing so hard.

I guess, Mason is on his way.. small steps but I am so happy that somehow..there’s some progress.

Twoddler

My baby is turning two in just a few days from now!

I just can’t contain my feelings that I’ve been holding and hugging my baby for 2 years now. I am so thankful for this precious life and I wouldn’t have trade anything in the whole world for this amazing experience.

Lately I have been buzzing my mind as I browse internet sites about my child’s progress. I cannot phantom the feelings of anxiety that the situation is giving me.

I keep on searching, trying to console my self about my baby’s speech. He still does not say any words and I’m really at my wits end. He learned a lot and has progressed massively as I try to focus more on him, play and teach him some things. He really has come a long way for that last 2.5 months but I am not seeing any word coming out any time soon.

I keep on looking for things and trying to weigh things, is he special? The only thing, I’m seeing is the lack of distal pointing and speech, we’ll he tends to ignore me when I call, when I call him the second time he looks, but whenever someone or a stranger calls him by his name he looks all the time.  I do believe he has eye contact especially when I scold him, he looks at me seriously. LOL. Overall, he seems to be a normal toddler to me. I do not see any sensory issues (no sensitivity to light, sounds or touch), he eats (not so picky), he communicates through gestures and he pulls us to where he wants and whenever he needs or wants something. He includes us in his play, he does pretend play he lets his stuff toys ride the car and he pushes, he pretends cooking or cutting foods, he feeds us with pretend food (he also shares his real food with us), he is not scared of crowded places, he adapts well to new places, we can even travel smoothly because he usually gets sleepy while on a ride. He looks at where I’m pointing, he follows simple directions. He does tip toe but just occasionally, he likes playing with other kids like chase games, he knows how to use the things for personal hygiene (toothbrush, comb, putting lotion, his towel), he likes it when I praise him and he claps his hands and says yahhh. He does not get upset when routine is broken. He does not even self-harm, no meltdowns, tantrums only when sleepy or hungry and when he wants something but we would give it to him (most toddler do this actually) but most of the time he is able to calm himself. He met all his motor milestones on time. He is interactive and very bubbly child.

My partner says that we must trust him and apply the wait and see approach as he seems to be progressing, just a delay and would soon be able to catch up in his words. But he promised that if nothing changes by his 20th month, we’ll be asking some professional help by then.

I am really praying that this is all a phase, I know he can do it, he just needs more social interaction and time (on a normal day, he only sees me, his dad, and sometimes my mom, not much of a social interaction I guess). We are now on to the 2nd year of his life and I’m wishing that he’ll progress so much more in the coming days and months.

Hard to break the habit

Well jokes on me. I thought that everything is okay, but turns out, the habit is still there.

It’s been a year. I hoped and wished that everything is now in the past but no not yet, it is still happening.

Sometimes, I hate my gut feeling. Sometimes, I wish that I don’t feel anything. The truth is, I am still living a life full of lies.

The core of the family is lying, hiding and slowly but surely destroying something we built together. The damage has already created a huge whole, literally and figuratively speaking. The whole is digging it’s way until nothing is left.

I cried the second time, but this time, I felt nothing. I felt like I’m used to it. I’m just scared of the anxieties and nightmares that I will experience after this. I had come a long way already, I thought I had moved on. Yes I did, but he did not.

I had been busy with my son for the past months, trying to keep up and catch up on the wasted time. I am sad for my son, but I am willing to take it all in, for the sake of his happiness, safety and security.

Now, I honestly don’t know what to do. Should I wait for him to let me go, should I go and pack my bags or act as if I knew nothing and focus on myself and my son?

I know sooner or later everything will fall into its place. For now, I’m keeping my faith so that I have the strength to carry on and continue living with a lie.