Define Success

What is success for you? We all strive for success but what does it really mean to us when we talk about success?
There can be different notions of success but I guess the most common definition of success is when people see it on the outside. Not just how you look but what you were able to build and achieve over a long period of time.

Most people tag success as someone who is a manager, boss, has a car, a house and lot and someone who is financially wealthy.
Someone who owns somethings expensive, a business or even someone famous.

But lets not forget that we make our own definitions of success, we can also create goals that does not include money or fame. Oftetimes we forget that this is not all and that there is something beyond these statutes, wealth and rewards. Sure there are a lot who aims to be rich or famous but these people usually end up being more miserable because of greed and selfishness.

It is sad to know that we live in a world where someone’s importance is measured in what he or she has achieved in life and not looking into what the person has gone through and what is the genuine goal for this. Honestly, if you define professional achievements, financial wealth and fame as success then you are living in another person’s perspective. This is everywhere, especially on social media, and seeing these posts, alters our mind into thinking and setting up that these is what success looks like.

Success is more than just the money and fame. Success is also when youΒ  stop comparing yourselves to other people. Success happens when you follow your passion. Success can also be overcoming self doubts, saying yes and no to the right things, getting back up after a failure, happiness, getting and giving respect, having time, showing up and even being with someone you love.

Its not bad to aim to be wealthy, famous or be professionally respected, especially if this is how you would want your “success” to be defined like everybody else. But just remember that there are more definitions of success that you can think of and you should not be trapped in a box of these wonders. Look out there and you’ll see that beyond these accolades, what’s more important is what you feel inside. πŸ˜‰

Looking back, I realized that this desire for β€œsuccess” was nothing more than the manifestation of insecurity about my sense of self and place in the world especially as a young adult. And now that I am a parent and older, I can say that my definition of success really changed.
What about you what is your definition of success?



Mental Health

Mental health awareness month!

Mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.-WHO

There are many factors that could affect our mental health, stress, Poor physical health, reaction to an incident, trauma, social disadvantage and even genetic factors.

I have always been the emotional one.
I react easily to situations and most of the times, I overeact.πŸ˜‚ Even before Mason, I am already a worrier, always anxious and a negative self talker. A person’s mental health starts from childhood and it is nurtured as he/she grows. One of the things that I remember when I was a child is definitely the weekly conflict of my parents (they adore each other so much but they always have these petty quarrels that often turns into a big deal) I got used to my Dad’s reaction to things and possibly why I unconsciously corresponded to this character too.
I could go on with lots if issues that I had experienced (I think, I blogged a lot of them here too, just scroll way back) But, dont get we wrong, my child hood was not that bad, it was chaotic but full of love. My parents are super sweet most of the time especially to me (syempre bunso πŸ˜‚) I think that all these ordeals good or bad, and how I was able to overcome everything, makes up my emotional well being now. But honestly, I am still learning and experiencing new things.

There are ways to take care of our mental health such as, getting help from professionals when needed, connecting with others, getting involved in physical activities, helping others, getting enough sleep and staying positive that there is a way out. For me, one of the things that really helped me is by writing it all down! Up to this day, writing no doubt will always make me feel better (hence this very personal blog). Writing everything helps me to be more aware and attuned to the things that makes me so stress and things that I cannot control. Aside from writing, family and friends are my next go to. My partner is not a pessimist like me so I guess it helps to have someone who can pull me out of my cynicism. And of course, friends who listen never fails too. One experience has really drained me and I once needed a counselor to manage my stress (yes don’t be afraid to consult and to find help). I have been trying to explore things daily that will help me calm down without putting too much pressure on myself too.

This pandemic has affected so many people in so many ways like loss of job, social limitations, social media pressure and the covid scare itself. Ive seen people feeling more agitated, more stressed, more restless, and more sleepless. (Me included! πŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€)Β  If know someone who feels this way, (even you!) dont forget to connect and reach out. πŸ€—

And before this month ends, I just want to share this quote
β€œAnything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” β€” Fred Rogers 😘

Quarantined Birthday

Last year, it was just a very intimate birthday with my fam. No one really knew what will happen, so it was Just the three of us. This year was no different. It was yet again another quarantined birthday for me. We didnt plan anything same from last year and we just thought of a very simple lunch.

Our usual birthday celebrations during the pandemic would consist of: ordering grab food, taking family picture, praying for aNother blessed year ahead and  finally sharing the food together.

Nothing special really, but this quote I found online days before my birthday..


“It has taken awhile, but I certainly do know it now ­­– the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days.”
-Katrina Kenison


Made me realized the gift of having these perfectly ordinary days. The perfect days where we pray and cherish the most treasured thing we have which is each other.
I honestly didnt expect anything, just the thought of celebrating another blessed year ❀ made me feel hopeful already for the days ahead.

But, I was really touched when I started receiving all these gifts and food from my friends and fam. My perfectly ordinary day turned into an overabundance kind of day. My heart was really full and I just couldnt put into words how grateful I am with all these love that I have received. They even connived With my partner to surprise me and it really worked, I just cant put my head that even though I can’t see them, they made it a point to make me feel so very special in their life In the midst of a pandemic.

Most of my friends, bestfriends and my sister live abroad now. Although I only have a few friends here now, my friends from afar never really forgets and I am  over the moon to know that the distance didnt really matter as long as you Know that you will always have each other in your heart. πŸ₯°

One thing is in my mind right now and its to pay all these blessings forward and share this overflowing warmth that I felt.

❀

Our home


I have been seeing a lot of House upgrades all over the internet!! And dont let me get started!! πŸ˜†

Anyway, It has been a year (but feels like forever already!) And we are still on quarantine!!! πŸ₯΄
I can still remember one of President Duterte’s  “Ikot ikot lang muna kayo sa bahay” suggestion and then of course, A lot of meme came out and you can see these tiktoks and pictures making their own interpretation 😁. But, indeed the longer the quarantine, the more we realize that we have been neglecting our houses all along (may it be rented or owned)

One year of pandemic and we’re all still looking at the same old ceiling and walls of our houses. 😣
Until, a group on facebook introduced us on ways on how to improve, upgrade and revamp our whole household.
I think, I found this group when I was scrolling thru instagram and followed a specific hashtag about home decors. And unexpectedly followed one of the admins of the said group. I got curious on her posts and started to look it up on facebook.
I must say it was really inspiring but I am lying if I say that I didnt feel any tinge of envy on how their houses looked like.
Almost all members of this group are from the upper middle class to rich class and you cannot really unsee how big and neat their houses are (Muji style everywhere!!) But credits to this group as it also served its purpose well which is to distract ourselves from the whole pandemic anxiety.

But as much as it helped in lessening our anxieties, to some it can be quite stressful too. Looking at these houses on the group, makes you feel a bit frustrated but the more you focus on those feelings, the more it can pull you down. Tell me more about it! 🀣


Then I remembered how we got here and the time we moved  in our old 2 bedroom unit. That time, Mason has just turned 5 months! We didnt plan everything, everything went by so fast. When we got pregnant, we had no idea on what will happen next. We were just trying to go with the flow. My partner and I have nothing to start with and we’re Not mature enough, we just want to make everything work. 😣


But then, as you know, I got pregnant, we had no choice back then but to stay at their house. I honestly felt very restricted and I am not comfortable living with his family while having to deal with pregnancy and newborn issues with limited control and space. Girl… I didnt even know how to cook and fold clothes properly!! 🀣
We started to have some misunderstandings too because I noticed how he was trapped into doing two things at the same time which is taking care of us, our son and at the same time attending to his family’s needs. It was a really stressful time for us.

Then, a magical plot twist happened ( you know when the universe helps you out to make it happen?! I guess this was it on my end! πŸ˜‚) Our company decided to move South and… Lo and behold, this unit that they own was located in the south just one jeepney ride from the Company’s new place.
He talked to his dad about our plans of moving out and to the south we go!! ο˜…
We only had 1 month to renovate the whole place. From the first unit owner to the last renter, the place has not changed at all. A lot of things needed to be fixed and we had very limited time to revamp the place. We didn’t even had any budget for this since I just gave birth, had Mason’s christening and this was not in our initial plan. But, thankfully his dad offered to help us out too.
During that time we didnt know anything about house decors, color palettes, themes etc. We were busy juggling work and going back and forth to help fix the unit and I had to take care of our son. So fast, It was a blur. I just remembered him asking me what color of the walls I want and the vinyl etc., we just wanted to move out as soon as possible because of the work location and to finally have a sense of having our own place.


From the time we moved, we bought anything that we need (some items were also hand-me downs from my sister, they decided to move to another country so some of our items up to this day is from them)..not really caring about will this match to…this or that?! who cares right?! 😁


Years passed, we got busy at work while taking care of Mason (no yaya! Just my mom helping us!) and we just got used to everything as we were living fast paced.


I guess just like everyone else, in this pandemic, we started to notice our house more. We Saw some items that needs fixing, we noticed we have a lot of clutter and we Dont have a lot of storage (which is an essential, especially if you live in a condo) and with these groups on facebook that shares some DIYs and How tos, ( thank goodness dad is into wood working!) we are getting some inspirations from them and slowly doing some changes and updates on our little place too.

Although a big house is nice. I think, this place is just right for us for now. The location is just chef’s kiss 😘 and we wouldnt want it any other way plus it is ours, our first home! This is where we had all our firsts as a family.
Having our own house and lot is one of our long term goals and I am sure this 2 bedroom Home will help us reach our dreams someday!!😍

I am Grateful

Saw this post again from selfcarespotlight on Instagram and thought I would do and list down these gratitude prompts 😊

It has been 9 months since the first lockdown and we are still under community quarantine and with year 2021 still a blur. These past months, I had more anxiety attacks and my mood has been fluctuating. And although I have been very down most of the time of the year, I always make it a point to feel thankful and blessed.

Okay, so lets start with the Person I am glad to have in my life. Honestly there are a lot of them but to narrow it down to just one person, I think my partner gets all the credit. I am just so thankful to have my partner in my life. Moms who had it tough this year, frontliner moms, post partum moms, pregnant moms and single moms and work from home moms like me..and to have a partner by my side supporting and helping me throughout is a gift. If there is anything, I totally think that our relationship has grown and we bonded more since I am at home with him and our son.

I am just excited for the upcoming holidays. Having a child with you on Christmas and New years day is ten folds the happiness and I cant wait to celebrate the Holidays with the rest of the families. I hope and pray that we’ll be safe and sound even after the holidays. I am also looking forward for 2021, there’s a saying “new year, new you” and I think most people use the new year to come out of and have a clean slate. Its like another opportunity to get things right and new year brings hope to everyone.

There’s not really any specific positive news that I have for our family have lately but I think that us being healthy and complete as we close 2020 is already something good and positive and should always be thankful for. Another thing is having to keep our jobs amidst the pandemic. Losing jobs in this difficult time is truly devastating and I just cant imagine what Could happen to us and our families. Always grateful.

If there’s a particular memory that will always make me smile its definitely the last time that me and my partner put on an all nighter and talked till sun up. We reminisced and looked back 5 years ago to what we have now. It’s amazing to see that all our personal goals have come into fruition. Although Our long term goals are still ongoing, I am sure we’ll achieve it as long as we keep our eyes on the target.

My favorite part about the Holidays is when I see my child beaming with happiness. When we celebrated NEw year’s eve, Mason suddenly blurted, “thank you for the celebration Momi, I loveyou!” Huhu.. Oh My heart!! Definitely seeing him being so happy and thankful for these little things is my favorite part of the Holidays.

I think, I should make another post about this but for the mean time, I hope 2021 brings light and hopefully be virus free for everyone.

Kindness 2020

For the past months I keep on seeing a lot of acts of kindness posts. I am not the kindest person but I do get a little empathetic towards situations and people at times too.

This year has been extra hard not only for me but for everyone. Not in my lifetime have I imagined that this will happen and to add to this pandemic there were a lot of other political, mental and natural disasters that happened and it has taken a lot of our emotions into a roller coaster ride.

But amidst all these, I always feel awe whenever I see simple acts of kindness whether in person or online (but mostly online since I dont really go out) these little sparks of kindness can really go a long way. And one movie that always comes in my mind whenever I see these stories is “pay it forward” a movie from Year 2000.

The movie’s tag line is “whenever someone does you a favor, dont pay it back, pay it forward”. If you havent watched this movie, then you should. Trevor(the boy main character) does a favor for three people, asking each of them to “pay the favor forward” by doing favors for three other people, and so on, along a branching tree of good deeds. Imagine if we all do this, (passing kindness around)I bet the world will be somehow easier to live in.

I think paying it forward is a good act to teach a child. It looks simple but the impact is truly be remarkable.

What are your simple acts of kindness experiences during this pandemic?

December: Things I am letting go off.

@

This is about the Instagram post I saw from self-care spotlight. Just jotting down some of my current thoughts and what I want to fully let go off hopefully this year (but still giving myself a few more months. Ha-ha!)

I know 2020 has been a year of realization for most of us. We realized how short life is, to live in the present but still always look at the future with uncertainty and that we need to be ready all the time may it be financially, mentally and physically.

For me aside from these, one of my realizations is that there are a lot of things that I need to slowly let go off before we officially let go of 2020 as well..

The need for control: Its hard. It is honestly hard because I was born to be always in control. I think I got this from my mom (who is born a leader and a people person) But having kids and living with someone totally different from you can be quite hard to be in full charge. But I learned that sometimes you must compromise, and you must think that it is not for you. It is for them and I must listen and give them opportunity to decide and grow on their own.

My comfort Zone: Another difficult thing it to do not just for me (well I think for everyone too) is letting go of your comfort zone and getting out of your box. I have been thinking really hard of what are the ways that I can somehow escape my bubble and I realized that there are many simple things in which you can go out of your way from your comfort zone, like a simple communication with your neighbors (take note I don’t even talk to neighbors hehe) can be helpful in knowing and finding something new that can be useful someday.

Overscheduling life: I realized that I should take things slow and that I need to focus and stop putting too much energy into something at once. It is important to have a to do list or your plan of the day. One of the things that I learned from raising a son is that I must schedule our day this helps me to do what is expected and never feeling like I never did enough.

Unhealthy relationships: Social media, this what I first thought about unhealthy relationships. I have this really unhealthy way of using the social media before, on Facebook I used to post and say too much but I realized that not all people on Facebook should know everything. So its okay to let go (well maybe not totally letting go but decreasing usage is one thing that I can do)

Fear and guilt: As a mother we all feel a lot of fear and guilt and sometimes I even cry my self to sleep just thinking about it. I have learned that I need to sometimes let my self take it all in but at the end of the day find some rationale on what happened and why I feel that fear and guilt. It is good to acknowledge it first and then move on and find any solution (for any fear) and let go of the guilt.

Comparing myself to Other and insecurities: Another difficult thing to do especially when you are a Taurus. Just kidding! (its actually scorpio haha!) Anyway, what I liked about my partner is that he never compares himself to others (well maybe in terms of physique lol) but in status, career etc. He is never liked that. He scrolls facebook all day but he never felt that and I adore this attitude of him so much that I wish I can also do this. We always say to never compare and be insecured but it is easier said than done and I am sure it will be a forever battle as long as you are never content with what you have.

Clutter: When we moved here in our simple abode (a 2-bedroom unit) everything went by so fast. We had to renovate it as soon as possible that we didn’t have time to really think of the design and what we wanted to do or have in the house. We are in such a hurry that when we finally moved, life was so fast next thing we know we have so much stuff in the house that we never really needed, we have no organization, everything is cramped up and all over the place. We realized that we needed to let go and one thing that I requested to my partner (when he started wood working during this pandemic) is to make more cabinets and storage areas. I am also slowly donating and letting go a lot of my things and clothes (yey to more handmade things 😊 )

What are you letting go off this year?

More than just a hobby?

Let’s make it clear

I came across a few posts from the sewing community (on instagram) about being disappointed on some comments about making a living thru sewing and that people keep asking them  to sell this, sell that and make a company out of it etc. Like really, why do people always think that you have to make money when you know how to do this or that? No offense, my mom made a living by sewing before she became a public servant and still accepts customers every now and then. Sewing is a huge part of where I am today.

But, I honestly have the same sentiments, Yes, it can be very encouraging to sew more because people are noticing your skills, and I am sure they do not have any bad intentions in saying this and is just probably in awe and amazed at what you can do. I also receive a lot of comments like this and I know this will happen and I am thankful for these comments btw.

I love sewing and I probably will sew for a long time (of course, cause I am just starting) But I honestly feel a bit of a pressure when people say that I should start selling my makes (btw selling is not my forte). Sewing definitely is my current outlet from all this boredom and stress that I feel from just staying at home and having nothing to go and unwind. I think that having a hobby is really important for everyone during this pandemic, may it be cooking, baking, sports, arts and crafts, collecting or even writing it helps someone to put his or her mind out of stressors. And completing every project gives a huge feeling of satisfaction. Also who wouldn’t want to save money (like really, I am seeing a lot of branded clothes being sold at a higher price and I can do the same style just by buying the price of the fabric!)

I remember I made something for my sister’s shop I was ecstatic at first, the fabrics were so cute. First time i was enjoying it but as I make more with the same pattern I got really tired, doing it doesn’t even feel like a hobby anymore. I just wanted to finish them as soon as possible(good thing though is i am not in a rush, I dont need to chase any timeline so no pressure). Doing the same style multiple times can be a bit frustrating and boring, because you already know the result and it doesn’t even make you feel excited anymore. And it can be scary because you might feel so over with your hobby and a time can come that you don’t even want to do it anymore.

I have nothing Bad about those who make money out of their hobbies, good for them (best of both worlds!) but I think it is not just for everybody.  Although I am not closing my doors into selling some of it someday or really focusing on sewing and making a brand out of it but if that day comes, I think I would really need extra hands to do most of the clothes because I honestly just can’t do all of it (making patterns is one of them haha!) And also selling, marketing them is another story (which I think is the most important thing here!)

Definitely not closing my doors to my friends who would want me to do their clothes on special requests but doing the same clothes for different orders, definitely not now. I am just so happy right now to be learning more about sewing, sharing my makes really makes me satisfied and occupied and I would want to inspire others too(especially those who dreams of also making their own clothes or want to learn sewing).

Let’s see where my sewing will lead me. I am just enjoying everything right now and currently, my mind is on the day where I can finally wear all my me-made clothes outside.

Our Financial Goals and Management

One of the things that we realized during this Pandemic is how important it is to have an emergency fund and savings.

I mean this pandemic is no joke, I have read news of company layoffs and I know some people who lost their Jobs and had to find a new way to earn in the midst of this global pandemic. It’s hard most especially for those without any savings or emergency funds, and thankfully we are lucky enough to be able to still work and pay for our monthly bills.

Growing up, my parents are mostly self-employed. Although they are earning well, they really did not prepare for their retirement. No SSS, No Pag ibig Fund and other types of Savings and Investments. They are not knowledgeable in terms of Financial planning and having Financial Goals. Hence, No one taught me how to save, what to do and what financial management is. I have to learn everything on my own.

Looking back, I wish I had learned sooner, but one thing I know is that you really have to surround yourself with People who will introduce you to these information and learn from them. When I started working, what I only knew is that I need to put my money in the bank and that’s it. I changed my career and earned a little more but my ways are still the same and I also increased my expenses, I acquired my first Credit Card and next thing I know I was in debt.

I think, it all started when one of my workmates introduced me to Life and VUL insurance. I felt ecstatic during that time, that  finally I have something to start with and that I am starting to prepare for my future. Then, I met some of my Highschool friends (mostly are accountants) and they talked about Stocks, I was a bit out of the conversation because it is the first time that I am hearing those information. When I got home, I started searching about it but forgot about it after a few days (I found the process of opening an account a bit of a hassle). Then I found this book “A women’s guide to successful investing” during one of my bookstore run. There I learned about Assets, Liabilities and your Net worth. Funny enough, I used the formula and I learned that  I AM BROKE. LOL

But Good thing about it is that I started to find ways to earn, to invest and to be smart enough to where I should put my money. Increasing your assets is always a good option but I am not the kind of person who likes to sell things (It may seem otherwise but really, I get easily stressed during shipping and other conversations that I have to make just to sell items)

So, I think, investing and having my money earn while I do nothing is the next option for me. LOL.

 I started my Easy Investment plans in one of my bank accounts (high yields), Opened my Stocks account (although I am not as active here but I think as a long term investment this can help), added another Insurance and one of my workmates introduced me to MP2 (see? I told you, it is important to surround yourself with people who will teach you these kinds of things). Not much yet since I am just starting but I think, having to have your first step and having these financial goals is really important. It’s always good to start somewhere and be consistent with it.

When my partner and I started living together, I was really devastated that he does not have any savings at all. He does not know how to invest, manage his own finance, no financial goals (talk about men being immature lol) but yes, it took me 3 years of persuasion for him to realize that he needs to do this, he needs to have a goal and he needs to invest and save. And look at him now, wah I am so proud. And more than ever, under this Pandemic, he realized that it is really a good thing that he finally started saving and slowly building up his emergency fund.

Right now, we are still finding other investments (Maybe real estate and retirement plans) that we can build to be prepared and be financially free someday.

What’s you Financial Goals? Any investment options that you can share?

Quick post: The ‘ber’ months

Yep its here. We are here. Hello to the first day of September. Did you feel any difference at all? πŸ˜‚

Who would have thought that we’ll be welcoming the much awaited ‘ber’ months while on quarantine? During this time of the year, I would usually scroll and look at my calendar trying to fit every reunion, out of town celebrations, parties and events with what’s left on my vacation leaves. But this year, my leaves are just sitting, waiting to be used and would probably be carried on for next year.

There are really things that we cannot control like this (this whole pandemic actually). And as someone with anxiety, cancelled plans makes me really stressed. So with the coming ‘ber’ months, I decided to make and create some of the things I am looking forward to. Atleast this gives me something to be excited about, something to motivate me and have something I can control.

Also, writing all these stuff up so that i’ll remember what I did during the pandemic πŸ˜…