These are the times where I wanted someone to talk to me so bad and just be left alone at the same time. The times where I usually drown myself watching Zombiefied movies to somehow divert my attention. I’m not sure where I should put myself. I have no plan at all or maybe I got tired planning things that never really happen. This is not new to me, I can feel it almost every year since I’ve graduated and I’m so fed up already. Maybe even my friends are also tired of hearing all these dramas that I’ve been saying. Yes, I’m one of those stereotypes who hide everything by smiling, giggling, laughing and even by telling jokes that makes no sense at all. I’m usually found inflating my ego to the point of nausea.
The truth is I’m scared of her.
I always carry out the pressure that she makes me feel. She’s my weakness and this weakness is dragging me away from her. Why do I always feel like I have to live up to her expectations? Do I even have a choice? All I want is to have a goal, a plan but I’m scared that everything will be washed out again and ends up with her blaming me all my life. ='(