Quick post: Cold feet

I’m scared. I was happy a few hours ago but then, thinking about a lot of things turned my mood upside down.

I’m terrified.. of the future, I’m unknown and still wandering to where I am going. I don’t know which path is for me and which one is misleading. I’m floating, I’m stagnant and I’m undecided.

I’m afraid.. for my parents, time is so fast and they’re snatching away the years. If only I could stop everything and just hug them.

I’m worried.. for us, for him. I want this to last. I want this so bad. Is he the one or this is just a phase? Can we make it or not?

I’m scared.

Trying for Another shot

Tomorrow, I’ll be having an interview with another company. I’m kind of hesitant because I’m not really sure about the position that I’m applying for. It was a company referred by my College friend and she’s also not sure what positions are open. What I do know, is that, I want to try my luck.

In my recent posts regarding my work, I’ve been ranting and sharing my feelings about my co workers and the way they manage the clinic or company. I’m not happy, I’m just getting used to doing the work and talking to them even though I don’t really want to mingle with them. This is the first time that I’ve met a bunch of people  who’s materialistic, histrionic and plastic (I usually meet one or two, but this time it’s a group of people). I don’t want to be like them or even know more about them. I’m just tired of pretending. I can still remember when I got that job, I was so damn happy, but now, smiling is just a smile, I can’t even show any real emotion. I’m tired.

I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow, of course I’m hoping for a positive remark. If not, then, I will try again and again. I’m open to changes and opportunities. If there’s a better one, I will not hesitate to grab and take that chance, even if it means a turn in my career choice. This time, I’m certain. Wish me luck tomorrow! =)

This Just in!

Finally bought new shoes for myself after so many months!! I think the last time that I bought shoes was last May, because it’s my birthday month! This time, I bought shoes that are not really the usual kinds of shoes that I would try or use, why? They are enormously high, not high priced but high heeled! Well, the other one is a wedge, but still it is, I think 5 inches high!

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This is the black wedge shoes that I bought, I was looking for shoes that will match and look good with my gray dress for our Christmas party, my dress is not yet done but I’m trusting my mom to that..lol. Nothing can go wrong with black shoes, so I guess, this one is a safe bet! Right?

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While this one, I’m not sure what you call this kind of shoes but I love it because of the vintage vibes that it gives me. I think I can wear this with any kind of outfit, formal or not, I just have to be used to with these kinds of high heeled shoes.

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Happy and contented with my new shoes! Can’t wait to use them and murder my feet! haha

Take a taste

Another memorable experience that I had in Pangasinan was the chance to try Dagupan’s Pigar Pigar, it was the first time that I’ve heard about it. 

During the night there’s a street somewhere in Dagupan where almost all restaurants were serving Pigar-Pigar. For those who doesnt know, Pigarpigar is deep fried beef or carabeef strips topped with onions, cauliflower, cabbage and broccoli.

They’ve been telling me all about it that made me so excited to try it.

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Dagupan’s Pigar Pigar

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Pigar Pigar is very popular in Dagupan that it has it’s own Festival. 

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I was so full that night, I even asked for an extra rice! 

Quick post: When things go wrong..

“If you don’t like the system, get out of the system”

A quote, I remembered from my coworker at my previous job. I lasted for about a year and months with my last work and I can say that even though there are a lot of issues that I’ve had with that company, I stayed very long because I find comfort with my co workers and they listen to our complaints, although they don’t always do much with our concerns.

Right now, I’m planning of resigning, not this month but maybe next month or until January, I can’t take the pressure any longer, aside from the irate patients which I sometimes can get a hold of because I’m not good in anger management either. I also experience, lack of comfort and complacency from my co workers, including the managers and staffs. Even those people are backstabbing and condemning each other.

This place is the worst! Sometimes, you just feel that enough is really enough. As much as I want to voice out my feelings and observations, I can’t and I don’t want to cause more misunderstandings and chaos.

Right now, I just can’t wait for this year to end.

Tan skin and crazy days

We’ve already planned this getaway for months now and finally the day has arrived. I was so tired from my duty but I still managed to prepare for our trip to Bolinao that night. It was only me and Vaey, we almost thought that Lancy would not make it on time but luckily she did!

I was so wasted, I’ve been tossing and turning on my bus seat but I can’t seem to find a way to sleep comfortably. Ended with me, feeling so sleepy all throughout the getaway.

When we got to the Beach, I was in awe because I did not expect that it would look so majestic. The sand was so white, and they’re like tiny molecules floating in your hands. The water did not fail us too! It was so clear and overwhelming. It makes me wish that I can stay there longer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt like it was summer, the only difference was that there’s only a few people enjoying the scene and sand. I would love to go back here with some of my friends, maybe family members or loved ones. All the exhaustion were worth it!

Sometimes, all it takes is a nice place with the company of your dear friends!

Make it three!

I’ve been working in my job as a clinic nurse for 3 months now, to be specific, Nov. 1 was the mark of my third month and I must say that I’ve come this far with my eyes closed and my hands clasped. It’s been a difficult 3 months. I lost a few pounds and I’ve had dark circles around my eyes, I really looked old, I feel like I’ve been here for ages!!

There are a lot of things that I’ve experienced and realized for that 3 months, Here are some of them:

> I realized that it’s challenging to work inside the mall. Everyday that I go to work or my break time, I see a lot of new products, discounted gadgets and buffets that I just can’t resist. This is were self control and self limitations comes. Whenever it’s payday, I always make it a point to eat or dine in a fine restaurant or maybe take out a food to satisfy my cravings. This is really compromising my money and as well as body. Whew!

> It’s true that you cannot please everybody, same way that they cannot please you too. There are a lot of people that you will never understand or you will never like no matter what you do. I’ve already mastered the art of faking a smiling or laughing face just to make them feel satisfied. Most of them are kind of weird and moody, and no matter what they do or what you do, I always think that they are irritating and annoying. Good thing, one of my Bestfriends is there or else I’ll be found in a  mental facility.

>Eating alone is not that bad. I don’t feel like eating with most of them. I just eat out with those people whom I’m comfortable being with and when they’re not around, I just usually swift away from the clinic and be lost somewhere in the food court area. I feel quite relieved to eat alone, away from those people that just worsens my stress. That way, I don’t have the need to think of any topic to keep them entertained while eating. 

> Wealthy and educated people don’t usually act the way that they should. Most of them are a bit rude and lacks patience. Sometimes they will yell at you even though you’re not the one to blame and even though you have explained very well their queries and complaints, they still give you the high tone of voice that only your parents can do to you! Yes, they are well-off but that doesn’t give them any license to make you look bad and say inappropriate words to you. Simple and a bit cliche but this is the reality. Money for them is power. 

> Weekends are truly special. When you work in a shifting schedule, sometimes you realized how lucky you are to be given a one day off that’s a Saturday or Sunday. You just want to make use of it in a very productive way like going out with friends or your special someone, or maybe just staying at home watching you fave TV series and movies. 

>It’s nice to wake up early in the morning. Time is so fast during the morning while time is like forever during the afternoon and night. Of course, nobody wants to go home late at night. Be minded that during the night, there are a lot of scary corners in Metro Manila that you have to be alert. 

>I learned and got used to drinking coffee and teas. I never liked coffee but ever since I started working in the clinic, I always feel a bit weak and loss of motivation. I felt like drinking coffee, can actually help me..or maybe not.

> Never bring your stress and sadness at home. Lately, I’ve been so stressed that I even panicked and got paranoid about work and some other things that whenever I go home, I tend to drop the bomb onto my parents and I know that it’s not right. I just lack self restraint.

>Friends always make a way to see you and be with you. I feel so special whenever my friends adjust to my schedule and financial capabilities just to be with me. They are wonderful. Workmates and acquaintances can never suffice your true friends. 

There! I’ve said it all.. or not? I know there are still a lot of things that I want to say but, some of them are lost in my train of thoughts. Maybe, I’ll just add them on my fourth month or maybe sixth month! I’m just keeping my fingers crossed. 

 

Quick post: Taped and Plastered

I’m supposed to be chilling and just enjoying my off-from-work day, but instead I feel a bit annoyed and wiped off.

Isn’t it a dismay when people accused you of not doing anything they said or asked you to do but honestly you have no idea what they are talking about. From what I remembered, they did not ask me to do anything or I can’t even remember if they asked any favor from me. Have I lost my memory? Nah! Definitely not! So, it is not right that you start to say not-so-good things to me when clearly, you’ve been misguided.

What’s more disgruntling is that I have no right to say anything about it. I have no right to reason out and explain my side or what I do know.  

Arrgh! Sometimes, Old people are just irritating and more rigid than a kid.