High hopes

I had a talk with one of my friends Dec last year And he was telling me of a book about law of attraction and how he was able to achieve his goals and what he has now. He now runs a tea business that has branches across the country and i admire his persistence for that. I started to get interested in what he was saying and i made a decision to do my way with baby steps. 

I was determined and definite that 2015 will be my year and i was really excited for it. In law of attraction of the book the secret, “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts one can bring about positive or negative results. It was also mentioned that the people and their thoughts are connected. With this idea, i ended up writing and creating my own Vision Board.  

   

there are long term goals like owning a house, starting a business and the like and there are also short term goals. I am really looking forward into seeing this vision board by the end of this year and see how much i have accomplished. Im feeling really positive with this, 3 months have already passed and im definitely having some great outcomes, im far from achieving most of these goals but im keeping my faith and hopes up!! 

And then It happened..Again.

Last year, I had a few misunderstandingw with one of my workmates but it’s all okay now. We’ve moved on, became friends again and she decided to resign and try a different career path. We’re fine, we even ended up being good friends than before, but we don’t get to talk much and it does not really matter.

Just this Month, I had another dispute with one of my workmates, she was saying a lot of negative things about me and she even said that she remained quiet for the 2 two years that I’ve been off to her, without me even knowing that I’ve been insensitive to her until now. I thought, I was just being my quirky and naughty self but well, jokes on me. I have arrange my Manager to talk to her because I’ve been noticing her mood changes and I was concerned. Only to realize that, all she said to my Manager was all about me and how opposing her comments on me was. That was just plain rude on my side, she should’ve talked to me first, confronted me and explained the things she’s concerned about. She’s older than me so maybe she can be mature enough to tell me all of these things first before saying it to other people. Afterall, she’s complainining about me. I was really wondering on why after 2 years, she’s saying all these things to me, wow she’d waited that long! What’s surprising is that I thought that we were getting along well. Yeah, I know that this is a place were we need and should be professional, but everything was just all for fun (work cannot be all about stern and grim) and I thought we were beyond this four walls.

Thinking about these two cases of falling out, I realized that Im tired of these instances, Im tired of this kind of environment around me. Im tired of blaming other people and especially inidicting everything to myself. I may be indelicate and mischievous at times but it was just all for fun and I just do this to those persons whom I think that I can trust, trust that they won’t take this in a dissenting way and I was hoping that they would approach me first and say the wrong things that I’ve been saying or doing, to remind me because they’re concerned about me.

I have a lot of friends outside this huge four sided rooms and I cannot let these occurences affect my attitude and how I approach my friends who see me as I am. Thank you for your negativity, I have learned that I can be more than this and can be mature enough to understand you and your insecurities.