Wasting

And so i saw lots of conversations with different girls..but what stucked in my mind was a chat with a teenager who can pass as his niece. I wouldnt have thought about this until I saw it..until i read it. 

I felt unusually disgusted. Of all the people i thought that he was the least to do this but i guess, i was wrong. Jokes on me. Reading between the lines, it was flirting. No doubt about it! There was something. 

I tried to forget it let it all pass. But the day that I saw the young girl. I felt more than just disgust. I felt sorry. I felt sorry for him and for the girl. I wanted to cry that day. I wanted an explanation but im far from getting it. 

Im wasting time. Im wasting away. 

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Breaking the rules

Today, i am crying. I am devastated and disappointed. Im thinking over and over again. Analyzing, contemplating. I am trying hard to be open minded but i can’t, i could not. I really do not understand what is happening and why is it happening. Is there anything wrong with me? Would anything be much better if i had known this then? 

The pain is fresh. A reopened wound. Traumatized. I do not understand. I am looking for reasons, reasons that i will not have now, i dont know when but definitely not now. The timing is bad and the situation is a blur. We are a mess once again. 

We were almost there. I almost believed you. I Thank God for this sign. Am I ready? 😦

Soon.

Dazed

If you happen to have someone whom you fully trust and then one day, that trust came like an earthquake, drowning you down, ripping you out alive. Wouldnt you give up? 

Happened to me once, and its undeniably one of the worst feelings to feel in your twenties. Right there and then, i gave up! I gave up my hopes. I gave up on the emotions and I gave up on trust. From then on, i decided, that I can only trust myself. Nobody in this world should ever earn your trust aside from yourself. In this changing and dynamic time,you can never tell what might happen next. The turn around is just a blink of an eye.

What’s weird is that the time that I gave up was also the time that I gave it a second chance. Love took over, covering my eyes and ears. Years later, I almost thought everything was worth it, I thought I got it back, but reading through the lines, looking at the pictures, I really never did. Everything went up and down. I may be selfish that Im feeling this now but this is something i cannot control, i have no control. This can’t be happening, again!

Then it hit me, is this really worth the chance? Is this my future? Do I still trust myself to do this? Will i just settle for this? 

The first!

Just a few weeks ago, I went on my first out of country vacation in Malaysia! Before the scheduled date.. I was already feeling giddy and excited! Actually the whole trip was booked and planned just for a month, everything was very spontaenous.

Why Malaysia? First of, my bestfriend is currently working there and has been telling to go there for the longest time and second would be because my travel buddy Karen found a seat sale flight going to Malaysia and her cousin lives there.

The itinerary (made by Karen! what would i do without her?) was intended for our very short duration only. Initial day was a visit to Malacca, I’ve seen a lot of my friends go or had gone to Malaysia, and im seeing the same pictures (not that im complaining) but yeah, everyone wants to see the Well renowned Petronas Tower, Batu Caves and Genting (which we did not go to,hopefully nxt time) but Malacca is something of a fresh air because not everyone has had the chance to go there. For those who’s not aware, Malacca is a Unesco world heritage site. A state rich with Historical background and alive culture.

Here’s a few photos that we had from our short trip to Malacca/Melaka.

  Everyone’s favorite photo spot!
  

Who would’ve thought that somewhere in this place, there is a Huge Wall Art.
  This is inside the Museum btw.
  The famous JONKER WALK. A very long street to walk.  The colorful Transportation in Malacca
  
  Bicycles for rent! Karen wants to try but I am wearing a skirt so I insisted not.

These photos are mostly from the Main City itself, as you can see the structures are all the same. Since this is a personal blog and not a travel blog, i wont be detailing on how we got  to Malacca (just so you know, my geographical senses is below average!hehe so I’d rather not). However, the travel time from KL to Malacca is approximately 2 hours by Bus. Our whole trip was a very quick and tiring one. If you would really want to explore the whole City, I’d recommend you have to stay there for atleast 2 days and one night to fully visit every Landmark. What I loved about this place is that they offer the best spices I’ve ever tasted. You see, I used to eat a lot of spicy foods, but then when I started having Acid Reflux and gastro issues, I begun to minimize my intake. However, going to this place (actually not only Malacca but Malaysia itself) did not stop me from trying all their spicy foods and sauces. Also, the people are very accommodating and kind. Another one for the books!

Will be sharing my KL tour next post!