I’ve been thinking a lot lately.. my worries and concerns for the coming days. Everything was not planned. I was about to go and give up but something came up and made a 360 turn of my life. Aside from the physical symptoms, I’m becoming mentally exhausted from all the thinking that ive been doing. Not good, i know, but all these changes are new to me and im so scared.
I’ve always wanted this, I’ve dreamt about this and now that its happening.. I just can’t explain how nervous i am about this. Every night, I want to cry as i feel helpless and alone.
But Amidst all of these, for what its worth, I am choosing Happiness. My happiness 🙂
So I was checking my wordpress account and saw a lot of Drafts that I was not able to post from last year 😦 . Everything went by so fast and I always seem to be not in the mood to write (Well, I am in the mood right now).
Not a lot knows this but since last December, I’ve been struggling. I’ve been feeling signs and symptoms that are new to my body. I didn’t imagine that I would all be experiencing this. The thought that I would see this little happiness soon is what giving me hope and assurance that everything will be alright. I just hope that our happiness will be just fine. This is really giving me paranoia everyday but I’m carrying on.
What’s bothering me is that I keep on losing weight from all this vomiting. I look pale and I definitely feel sick all the time. But, all these signs are giving me positive thoughts that happiness is continuously growing inside.
We are so excited, the days are so fast but I want it to be faster. I am definitely enjoying all the attention and care. But not the nausea and vomiting. I just hope that I’ll find some relief soon.
So last Christmas, my boyfriend (soon to be my Husband :)) surprised me with a Ukulele. I know, some girls might receive make ups, clothes, branded bags, jewelries or shoes but I got a cute little Ukulele.
I can still remember when I saw Kierra Folsom’s youtube video with her playing Ukulele to the song of Drake’s best I ever had. Totally, fell in love with her and that’s when I thought, hmm “I want a Ukulele!”. Things got busy and I forgot about it, even though there are tons of Musical Instrument Stores near our house. I just got no time to check them out and buy one.
Years before, I used to play Banduria, I joined a Rondalya group in our school because I really want to learn how to play the Guitar but the time that I signed up, there is already no available slot for Guitar players and I settled for Banduria. Didn’t really hate it but, all throughout the experience, I learned a lot.Met alot of friends and enjoyed performing and competing with our groups. Ahh I missed those days.
And now that I got a Ukulele, so excited to learn new stuff, still adjusting though. Because as you know, strumming using Banduria is totally different from strumming a Guitar or a Ukulele. I need to learn more. Though I am so busy nowadays, plus the all day sickness that I’m feeling, I’m really trying my best to try and play each chords if not everyday, well weekly or every weekend i have. 🙂
Whew what a year that was. 2015 was truly a great year for me, although there were some bumps and rough roads along the way, I definitely believe that it was worth every cuts and burns. To look back, 2015 was a year of triumphs. I got promoted, the first few months were a hell of a ride, I really got stressed and depressed but after all of the difficulties, I managed to adapt and handle all the stress of my work. I went on my first Out of Country Vacation in Malaysia. It was a different experience, that’s where I realized the other life away from the Philippines. I met new people and friends, rekindled my relationship with some and I also lost a few. The first and last quarter was also a bit of a struggle, I got some health issues, allergies and infections that I also thought of as serious but Thank God, their just the common ones. And, my boyfriend lost her Mom, this was also a struggle on my part as I needed to be with him to comfort him and let him know that I’ll always be here in this kind of situations.
The last quarter was especially surprising, I was in denial at first. I almost lost my self but then I realized that another blessing is coming. We are still striving but I know we can make it this coming 2016. It may not be easy but I am so excited for the coming days. I cannot wait to see my Family. 🙂