I am Grateful

Saw this post again from selfcarespotlight on Instagram and thought I would do and list down these gratitude prompts 😊

It has been 9 months since the first lockdown and we are still under community quarantine and with year 2021 still a blur. These past months, I had more anxiety attacks and my mood has been fluctuating. And although I have been very down most of the time of the year, I always make it a point to feel thankful and blessed.

Okay, so lets start with the Person I am glad to have in my life. Honestly there are a lot of them but to narrow it down to just one person, I think my partner gets all the credit. I am just so thankful to have my partner in my life. Moms who had it tough this year, frontliner moms, post partum moms, pregnant moms and single moms and work from home moms like me..and to have a partner by my side supporting and helping me throughout is a gift. If there is anything, I totally think that our relationship has grown and we bonded more since I am at home with him and our son.

I am just excited for the upcoming holidays. Having a child with you on Christmas and New years day is ten folds the happiness and I cant wait to celebrate the Holidays with the rest of the families. I hope and pray that we’ll be safe and sound even after the holidays. I am also looking forward for 2021, there’s a saying “new year, new you” and I think most people use the new year to come out of and have a clean slate. Its like another opportunity to get things right and new year brings hope to everyone.

There’s not really any specific positive news that I have for our family have lately but I think that us being healthy and complete as we close 2020 is already something good and positive and should always be thankful for. Another thing is having to keep our jobs amidst the pandemic. Losing jobs in this difficult time is truly devastating and I just cant imagine what Could happen to us and our families. Always grateful.

If there’s a particular memory that will always make me smile its definitely the last time that me and my partner put on an all nighter and talked till sun up. We reminisced and looked back 5 years ago to what we have now. It’s amazing to see that all our personal goals have come into fruition. Although Our long term goals are still ongoing, I am sure we’ll achieve it as long as we keep our eyes on the target.

My favorite part about the Holidays is when I see my child beaming with happiness. When we celebrated NEw year’s eve, Mason suddenly blurted, “thank you for the celebration Momi, I loveyou!” Huhu.. Oh My heart!! Definitely seeing him being so happy and thankful for these little things is my favorite part of the Holidays.

I think, I should make another post about this but for the mean time, I hope 2021 brings light and hopefully be virus free for everyone.

Kindness 2020

For the past months I keep on seeing a lot of acts of kindness posts. I am not the kindest person but I do get a little empathetic towards situations and people at times too.

This year has been extra hard not only for me but for everyone. Not in my lifetime have I imagined that this will happen and to add to this pandemic there were a lot of other political, mental and natural disasters that happened and it has taken a lot of our emotions into a roller coaster ride.

But amidst all these, I always feel awe whenever I see simple acts of kindness whether in person or online (but mostly online since I dont really go out) these little sparks of kindness can really go a long way. And one movie that always comes in my mind whenever I see these stories is “pay it forward” a movie from Year 2000.

The movie’s tag line is “whenever someone does you a favor, dont pay it back, pay it forward”. If you havent watched this movie, then you should. Trevor(the boy main character) does a favor for three people, asking each of them to “pay the favor forward” by doing favors for three other people, and so on, along a branching tree of good deeds. Imagine if we all do this, (passing kindness around)I bet the world will be somehow easier to live in.

I think paying it forward is a good act to teach a child. It looks simple but the impact is truly be remarkable.

What are your simple acts of kindness experiences during this pandemic?

December: Things I am letting go off.

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This is about the Instagram post I saw from self-care spotlight. Just jotting down some of my current thoughts and what I want to fully let go off hopefully this year (but still giving myself a few more months. Ha-ha!)

I know 2020 has been a year of realization for most of us. We realized how short life is, to live in the present but still always look at the future with uncertainty and that we need to be ready all the time may it be financially, mentally and physically.

For me aside from these, one of my realizations is that there are a lot of things that I need to slowly let go off before we officially let go of 2020 as well..

The need for control: Its hard. It is honestly hard because I was born to be always in control. I think I got this from my mom (who is born a leader and a people person) But having kids and living with someone totally different from you can be quite hard to be in full charge. But I learned that sometimes you must compromise, and you must think that it is not for you. It is for them and I must listen and give them opportunity to decide and grow on their own.

My comfort Zone: Another difficult thing it to do not just for me (well I think for everyone too) is letting go of your comfort zone and getting out of your box. I have been thinking really hard of what are the ways that I can somehow escape my bubble and I realized that there are many simple things in which you can go out of your way from your comfort zone, like a simple communication with your neighbors (take note I don’t even talk to neighbors hehe) can be helpful in knowing and finding something new that can be useful someday.

Overscheduling life: I realized that I should take things slow and that I need to focus and stop putting too much energy into something at once. It is important to have a to do list or your plan of the day. One of the things that I learned from raising a son is that I must schedule our day this helps me to do what is expected and never feeling like I never did enough.

Unhealthy relationships: Social media, this what I first thought about unhealthy relationships. I have this really unhealthy way of using the social media before, on Facebook I used to post and say too much but I realized that not all people on Facebook should know everything. So its okay to let go (well maybe not totally letting go but decreasing usage is one thing that I can do)

Fear and guilt: As a mother we all feel a lot of fear and guilt and sometimes I even cry my self to sleep just thinking about it. I have learned that I need to sometimes let my self take it all in but at the end of the day find some rationale on what happened and why I feel that fear and guilt. It is good to acknowledge it first and then move on and find any solution (for any fear) and let go of the guilt.

Comparing myself to Other and insecurities: Another difficult thing to do especially when you are a Taurus. Just kidding! (its actually scorpio haha!) Anyway, what I liked about my partner is that he never compares himself to others (well maybe in terms of physique lol) but in status, career etc. He is never liked that. He scrolls facebook all day but he never felt that and I adore this attitude of him so much that I wish I can also do this. We always say to never compare and be insecured but it is easier said than done and I am sure it will be a forever battle as long as you are never content with what you have.

Clutter: When we moved here in our simple abode (a 2-bedroom unit) everything went by so fast. We had to renovate it as soon as possible that we didn’t have time to really think of the design and what we wanted to do or have in the house. We are in such a hurry that when we finally moved, life was so fast next thing we know we have so much stuff in the house that we never really needed, we have no organization, everything is cramped up and all over the place. We realized that we needed to let go and one thing that I requested to my partner (when he started wood working during this pandemic) is to make more cabinets and storage areas. I am also slowly donating and letting go a lot of my things and clothes (yey to more handmade things 😊 )

What are you letting go off this year?