Uncategorized

Months have passed..

It is definitely hard to Move on..it will take time but once you started with your self, and how to improve your whole self.. especially if you show him that you can do it without him it may be in terms of emotional, financial or other things then you are on the right track.

Every day I try to move on. If you’ll see us in person, you’ll not see any signs of the past or what happened between us. But really, I am struggling to move on, I always put all my other reasons aside and think of my son. Aside from our last issue, financial issues also came into picture. There are really issues that we cannot control and out of our hands. I realized that we are really two different persons and one must compromise to somehow make everything work. But, until when?

For me, financial concerns, may come and go, you can earn money anytime and anywhere  but the trust and respect especially for our bodies is what sets everything apart and once broken, it really is broken. There are times that I still linger and remember the things that he did with other girls, but what I do is to think more of the things that I should be doing to improve and focus on myself.. recently I learned how to do make up and last July and August I have opened my investment accounts. I am learning now on how to trade in Stocks.

I have too many goals to  achieve and to look forward and I definitely realized that checking out and investing time on those girls that he spent time and money with are just a total waste of time. I’d rather invest on my self and my son..

 

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Rants · Uncategorized

Rant: Bring your own plate

Beware this is a rant.

Two weekends ago we were invited to a Luau Birthday Party. Of course, I somehow prepared what my son and partner would wear on that day because we wouldn’t want to look out of place.

Anyway, we left our house at around 4:30 as the event is a 5-9pm party. We did not expect the traffic and unfortunately we spent 3 hours inside the car. When we arrived that’s around 8:30, they are still having their games, we hurried to meet the Mom of the Birthday Girl, said our apologies, gave our gift and greeted them. She said that she was also worried as she heard that the traffic was really heavy. She offered us to go to the Catering section and eat.

I asked Bryan to find a seat and I will get the food. When I went to the buffet section, I noticed that little to no food was left, only a few pasta, left out dishes and no more rice. I asked the waiter or staff for the Plate. He said that there was no more plate. I waited because I thought that maybe he will get a plate for me since there’s still some pasta but to no avail, he did not move at all. After a few minutes, I asked again, and he said that there was no plate available. I hurried to Bryan and asked him to talk to the catering staff because no one seems to assist me.

He came up to me angry and really pissed. He said that no one even tried to help at all. We were very hungry already and no one, not even the one who invited us assisted us. To think we have a baby with us who’s also hungry. Not more than 10 minutes and we decided to go out and eat to the nearest restaurant.

It was a disaster. I do not want to attend to her party ever again. Oh dear, that was a 3 hours commute and we just felt full of shit.

beauty · Life · Thoughts · Uncategorized

Something new: Make up

I have been so busy these past few months. A lot of things happened and i was not able to keep track with most of it. But, on a general perspective I learned something new and something about myself.

For the past months, as I have written here in my personal blog,  i suffered from betrayal and my self confidence dropped into its all time low. I felt unattractive and for the first time,  I felt anxious.

Then, I started to focus on myself,  although weightloss is still a struggle (my weight is still within the normal side but I really want to loose all those tummy fats!!) I decided to do something new to myself, to redeem my lost confidence and the feeling of being ugly. It all started one day when I was browsing youtube and started seeing make up vlogs. How tos here and there. I clicked Michelle Dy’s one vlog about simple on the go make up and I had this lightbulb moment!

You see,  i really do not know how to use make up. Powder foundation and lipstick that’s it and im good to go. For 29 years that was my mantra. I never plucked my eyebrows, never put eyeliner all by myself and only wears full make up on big occasions (well,  of course some else does the make up) So make up was a bit out of my league and I was really scared at first.

Next day,  I bought my first ever eyebrow pencil from etude. I initially had different trials and errors from shaving or plucking my eyebrows but after so many attempts and too many pencil drawings, weeks passed (yes weeks!) I was finally able to perfect my brows! (Well,  not perfect but something the perfectly fits my preference!) 

Then everything went too fast! I started buying make up online,  next was the eyeliner from skinpotions,  the meowliner. They were marketing it as an easy way to perfect the winged eyeliner by stamping your way to it and then connecting it to your liners. I was surprised at how easy it is to use. I used to think that I will never ever learn how to use it but I was able to do it! 

The next thing on my list was a lip tint! I love lipsticks but I really think that lip tints are more natural to look at and easier to use. I bought my constant companion from banilla co. Then as the days move,  my make up kit started to get full. I then bought a new powder foundation loreal infallible, and my favorite so far caresse cushion lip gradation from loreal! Really want to buy every color but it is so expensive! It became my go to blush on and lip gradation after putting on my liptint. Also bought a new eyebrow pencil from loreal (i love loreal!) And finally the last one that I bought was a mascara from mumuso.

There are still so much from my make up list that I wanted to buy and learn how to use,  highlighted palette, liquid foundation and eye shadow pallete and other essentials.

A lot of people started to notice (especially at work) that somethings is new especially on my appearance. It really feels great to received compliments on how I look and how my look have improved. I been receiving positive feedbacks like “oh your brows looked good!”,  ” what did you use with your eye? I liked it!”.

I used to think that make up is only for those who have low confidence (maybe due to pimples or skin conditions to cover them up) or for those who just wants attention but based from my experience,  make up can not only change or enhance you facial features but mostly it helps someone to somehow fix on what’s inside of him or her. 

Make up really helped me a lot during those times that I was about to lose everything. So glad that I am better than before because I was able to divert my negative feelings and create something for myself by using and learning how to use make up. 

Now,  I have high respect and I admire every women who chose to wear make up (that does not mean that I think less of those who do not use any!!) Natural beauty is and will always be the best,  make ups are there to enhance and give emphasis to the beauty that was given not only outside but definitely on the inside. 

Family · Love · Relationships · Thoughts · Uncategorized

What happened to Love?

It pains me to know that there are a lot of women or wives who have experience being cheated on by their partners.

What’s more sad is when actually see it with their own eyes. Well, not really on the act of doing it but seeing it online through chats, site or even text messages. It is like a documented version of all those cheating escapades and texts or words can really cut deep more than the physical aspect.

I have been reading a lot about other girls and their experiences. Almost each case is the same. They get married and then somewhere along the way they find out the shenanigans and discover the unusual and immoral personalities of the person whom they believed to have loved them as much as they love them.

Sometimes I wonder how strong is the urge compared to the significance of keeping the family and love that you built and have dreamed of, was it that easy to decide?

 

50 QUESTIONS · Thoughts · Uncategorized

Office Girl

I am currently working as a supervisor (Team lead) at a Healthcare Data/IT KPO (Knowledge Process Outsourcing) company similar to BPOs. I will be turning 5 years soon!

I am actually a B.S Nursing graduate. Yes,  I was able to be a nurse at a hospital and clinic but I guess, it is not really what I wanted. In the first placed, I took up nursing because back then it was so in demand and I really love Science, Biology and other stuff about the human body! haha.

Anyway, aside from being a Nurse, I also had my few years as an Online English Tutor to Koreans. Its was fun while it lasted but I didn’t really find any career growth in that line of work so I decided to resign. When I first started here in my current job, I was surprised as this was a formal setting kind of Job. We need to dress up casual business attire during Mondays to Thursdays and  Friday is our wash day. It’s hard to choose what to wear everyday unlike before as a Nurse we have a Uniform and I will never  run out of clothes!

Well what to wear (smart or business casual and dressdown on Fridays) is just a minor part of working here. But, as days go by, the more I realized how much I like this kind of Job. Like any other work or office work, I had experienced tensions with my co-workers and I was even reported to HR for something that I did not intentionally do, I think I posted this one before. There are also pressures in terms of deliverable, cut offs and deadlines and as a team lead, I get to talk to different kinds of people and need to vary my approach for each person.

Does your job make you happy? (50 questions) Although this is not so much related to my Course, I am very much happy with this Company and with the people I worked with (after all i wouldn’t last for 5 years). If this was asked to me during my first few days or years, I would definitely say No. Time and experience can really do so much and I am currently Happy for sure.

Right now, I am having second thoughts of working from home to be able to look after my son as he grows up and giving up on this work will be definitely hard for me.

 

Love · Question · Thoughts · Uncategorized

Random Thoughts: Flirting or Cheating?

Well, would you be fine with your Special someone flirting with other girls?

Some women may say that ‘oh its okay as long as nothing physical happens’,  ‘he is like that to everyone’, ‘its nothing serious’. With these,  some might accept the fact that their husband or boyfriend is just a little flirty.

But come to think of it. Flirting is already a red flag. There is no such thing as full blown cheating,  it will always start somewhere and flirting is one of those. Sometimes, the saying “once you start,  you cant stop” applies.

50 QUESTIONS · Books · Thoughts · Uncategorized

A book of Letters

 

Yep, this is my first post about my 50 questions. I know I made a previous post regarding how I love to read especially when I was in my Junior years. I used to go with my sister to a nearby bookstore every weekend after church and she would buy me any books for kids that’s for sale.

There’s one book that will always be first on my mind and it’s Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary, I have a lot of Beverly Cleary books but this was one is definitely for  keeps. When I watched the movie “Stuck in Love”, there’s one scene where in the two main characters were on a date and they shared what is their Favorite book, turns out the characters both loved the book Dear Mr. Henshaw. My eyes lit up as I remembered the book. Well, the hopeless romantic in me wished that I could meet someone who shares the same kind of passion in reading. Anyway.. lol.

Dear Mr Henshaw is about a little boy named, Leigh Botts from a broken family. Together with his Mother  they moved to a new town and new school. Everything happened after a school assignment in which they would need to write a letter to their chosen Author and for him it was Mr Henshaw, from their constant exchange of Letters, the two characters formed an unexpected bond.

For me writing is very essential. I love writing! (well, the reason why I have a blog) and what I liked about this book is that it was able to show how far a letter or someone’s writing can go. When we write, all the feelings, questions and thoughts are being constructed, it is some form of release and somehow creates a compelling story that everyone can relate to.

I do not read anymore like when I was younger (maybe due to technology and stuffs) but if I have time, I would definitely go back to reading. I wish someday, I can extend this amazing interest to my son.

“De Sooner De Better De Later De Letter De Madder I Getter”
Beverly Cleary, Dear Mr. Henshaw