Random Thoughts: Flirting or Cheating?

Well, would you be fine with your Special someone flirting with other girls?

Some women may say that ‘oh its okay as long as nothing physical happens’,  ‘he is like that to everyone’, ‘its nothing serious’. With these,  some might accept the fact that their husband or boyfriend is just a little flirty.

But come to think of it. Flirting is already a red flag. There is no such thing as full blown cheating,  it will always start somewhere and flirting is one of those. Sometimes, the saying “once you start,  you cant stop” applies.

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50 Questions

As I have always wanted, my blog has been and will always be as personal as possible. I do not even share this to my other social media accounts as I would want to keep all my rants and thoughts away from those people that I know. Away from criticism and unsolicited advises especially from people that pretends to care but really just wants or are looking for someone to be the topic of their afternoon coffee meet ups and random gossips.
Well Anyways, I thought to somehow distract myself from thinking of my current issues in life. I found these 50 Questions (50 Questions To Ask Someone If You Wanna Know Who They Really Are) from the Overrated Thought Catalog haha.
1. What is your favorite book?
2. Does your job make you happy?
3. What did you want to be when you were younger?
4. Why did your last relationship end?
5. What’s been your biggest mistakes so far in life and what did you learn?
6. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?
7. What is your top five favorite movies?
8. What are some of your favorite songs?
9. What qualities do you admire about your parents?
10. How would you describe your best friend? 
11. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?
12. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?
13. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
14. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?
15. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
16. Why do you think you’re still single?
17. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
18. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?
19. What is your greatest fear?
20. What are three things you value most about a person?
21. Who are five people you are closest with?
22. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?
23. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
24. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?
25. What’s your favorite beer?
26. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?
27. Who are you closer with your mom or your dad?
28. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
29. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?
30. Who was your favorite teacher and why?
31. What sport did you fall in love with?
32. What is the weirdest thing about you?
33. What was your longest relationship?
34. What would your best friend say is your best quality?
35. Who is your favorite historical figure?
36. What made you choose the college you went to?
37. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?
38. What food could you not live without?
39. Dogs or Cats?
40. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?
41. What was your best birthday?
42. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?
43. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?
44. What was the last book you read? And When?
45. Where do you usually get your news?
46. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?
47. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?
48. If you could get away with anything that you do?
49. Who is your greatest hero?
50. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?
These questions are as direct as they should be. But, I am thinking that while answering them, well might as well make that each question will serve as a blog entry for the coming days. I hope I’ll be able to complete this! 

Ma Mum..

Last night I came home and saw my son. He was so excited to see me, he started crying and trying to babble words.. he’s been saying “Mum mum ma mum”, I do not know if he really meant something like Mommy or Mom but the syllables and sound made me extra happy that I started kissing him and hugging him.

What I noticed recently is that I’ve been buying all these stuffs for him: Shoes, clothes and toys. He has a lot of shoes, clothes and toys already but whenever I see something cute, I ended up purchasing more than what I intended to. I guess it’s true that we only want the best for our babies.

Recent Purchases were:

Sweater, Timberland inspired shoes, T shirt and Jogger pants.

I do love shopping but right now I shop mostly for him! Well, I think I need to train myself to control whatever urges I have to buy unnecessary things for him. 🙂

Mommies, what’s your recent purchases for your babies?? 🙂

Where are those days?

Since when did I become possessive, pointless, too controlling, jealous pain in the ass?

It’s official, I’ve fallen to a lower state. Right now, I’m feeling so disgusted with myself, especially when I saw that video post about the overly attached girlfriend. Sad to say, but I have to admit that I was a little affected by that video and I can sense that I’m slowly becoming that irritating person.

I used to be so carefree, stress free and confident. I realized that I need to loosen a bit! Get back to my old self and back on the track. Back to where I was able to hold my self and just let things go. I miss those days where I was so strong and not afraid at all. I wish I can go back to those days where I’m still not bound with these insecurities and jealousy.

I want to be worry free. I want to be confident again and I want to be able to work on my weaknesses just like the old days. To let go and not possess anybody. I have to know that this is not the worst of the situations and that I need to be tougher. I want to be able to fully trust someone, if not, maybe at least believe in that person and hope that everything is fine. I want to stare at a picture of myself, smiling or laughing, seeing how genuinely happy I am and thinking how I’ve got through all of this. I want those back.
From now on, I refuse to give in to the horrible illness that has taken so many memories and people away from me. I know it won’t happen in just a snap and it will take time but I’m doing it. Yes, I have doubts. That’s why I create all safety measures, surround him by every trick, by cunningness, by cleverness, so that he cannot leave me like before. I was traumatized but  I’m killing love. Love is freedom. Love is being free and all about living life.

I need to blow my worries to the wind…and just believe.

While I was doing this post, I suddenly remembered Regina Spektor’s new song and unexpectedly it fit exactly on what I’ve been thinking and dwelling today.

All the Rowboats is all about great artworks being locked up and hidden from the world. It’s our tendency to keep and limit the beautiful and amazing things locked up, when they should be exposed and free for everyone to appreciate. But sometimes, we admire them so much that we’re already destroying them. Intentionally and unintentionally.

The music is very classic and astounding.

Fits perfectly to my mood today.

If you really love, there is no need to possess.
– Osho

Have you been sunkissed?

It’s the end of the month of May. It’s raining tonight and summer is over. Class will start soon and I think, for students it’s back to their normal boring and stressful school life.  Summer is already over and I’m a bit devastated because I  was not able to fully enjoyed it, all I’ve experienced was the intense summer heat. I did not go swimming and even go out of town. I wasted another summer.

I miss the days when summer vacation was about relaxing and hanging out with friends. Now it’s all about working and squeezing your friends in when you can.='(

What did you do this summer?

What comes next?

“There are a lot of things in my life right now that are undecided. And that used to scare me, but I kind of like the idea that it’s just all kind of wide open.”

Gilmore Girls

Life is unfair to me nowadays, I think. It’s already the middle of the year and I haven’t done anything interesting or something new specifically with my career. I’m aware of what I want to do and I know why. I have skills and capacities but I just don’t seem to have enough motivation to do those things. I’m becoming hopeless and I think that I’m wasting my time but I’m not doing anything about it. It sucks to know that I’m 24 and still undecided. Sometimes, I feel pressured and most of the time I just feel so useless.But,  if I remain undecided nothing will ever change.


What if?

What if I never met you? What if I never saw you ? What if I remained silent? What if I stayed adoring you from afar? What if I never took that picture? What if I declined you? What if I never gave you a chance? What if you never cheated? What if you chose her? What if  I listened to you or to them? What if I didn’t care? What if we’re friends? What if we met on a different place and situation?

Would there be any difference? Or everything will just be the same?

Will we make it? Or we’ll just give up?