Something sneaky

I was thinking of something special for his birthday but I’m out of my consciousness nowadays and I just can’t do much because of lack of time, distance and of course financial needs.

We usually go out whenever we have a special occasion or things to celebrate about. But, I realized that, it’s not always like that. It’s okay with me because I know that we still have our whole different lives apart and we need to breathe away from each other every now and then. Maybe, I was just thinking to much on how to make him happy on his special day just like what he did on my Birthday.

Being in a long term relationship is sometimes really disappointing. I get to think what to give him every year for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas days. It’s really exhausting to think especially when you lack money and time to make or buy them. I like surprises and that’s why I always want to surprise him.

I just thought of giving him some things that he can use everyday. And since we we’re not able to see each other that day, he said that he just wants to go home and spend time with his family, while I was expecting that he would somehow invite me to their house but he did not so I was sad and really devastated that day. I thought that I won’t able to give my gift. Even though my gifts are just simple things, not really expensive, I really want to give them to him on that special day, to somehow make him realized that I’m happy that he was given another year to enjoy life. So, I decided to contact his sisters and luckily they responded and helped me. (credit goes to his younger sister! =)) I waited all day, I was at work 7am until 4pm and I waited for 3 hrs. I was so tired, but I was smiling when I got home.

I know that he will not like my gifts but I thought that maybe it will somehow surprise him to see his gifts in his room. Good thing, I was not able to see his expressions of disappointments. At least, I did my job and even though he did not really liked them ( of course he said he liked them, but boo! I know the truth!) , I’m still happy that I did that. Maybe I was just expecting a bit more appreciation from him.

You can never be overdressed

Since it’s my Birthday..

Yes, it’s still my birthday, so please allow me to have a lookbook style photo in here. Lol

This is what I wore today.

I bought this floral satin top for only 50 Pesos, jeggings for just 150 pesos, an owl necklace for 70 Pesos and shoes for 150 Pesos. Talk about dress for less huh?!

The night is not yet done but I had a wonderful day today. My loving boyfriend gave a Secosana Bag. Just what I’ve been thinking! He can read my mind. I swear! hahaha! Cheers!

Holy shit, I’m going to die!

Is it bad that the only reason I’m aware that my birthday is in a week is because that’s when we will celebrate our Patronage Festival?

The numbers 2 and 4 are creeping on already.  Still feels like I’m seventeen most of the time. Or actually, not really. I like summer so much, but what I don’t like about it is that I get to spend so much money on outings and other gatherings plus it’s my birthday month.

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really like celebrating things about myself, especially birthdays. But, sometimes, you feel the urge to celebrate because people told you to do so or you experience the pressure  that you have to treat or spend time with other people or family members because it’s your birthday. For me, I hate birthdays, I hate growing old and I hate having attention because I’m getting older. Who likes that anyway? What I like about birthdays is that I get to have an excuse to buy something for myself or spend money for myself.

Lately, I’ve been wishing to have a DSLR but I think, a DSLR just have to wait. I need to save more money in order to have one. I’m not really in a hurry. I just want something to get busy with. Presents or gifts are not important for me, but whenever I get one, it sure gives an overwhelming feeling. I like giving than receiving. I’m joking!

In our family, during birthdays we don’t really give gifts. When I was younger, during my birthday they usually give me money and we eat out or they just buy or prepare special foods for me. And I think, that’s already a nice effort that they somehow remember that it’s my birthday. We have no plan at all, or rather I have no other plan at all. Greetings from close friends makes my heart flutter too. (Those friends who really remember your birthday and not because they saw it on facebook or somewhere.)

It’s funny to see what a difference a year makes.
I sometimes think that birthdays are overrated because you tend to look back on the things that had happened to you, it gives you a chance to start over again and it also makes me wonder where I’m suppose to find endless opportunities, possibilities and responsibilities. Every year, I get to feel afraid and positive at the same time.

Here’s everything I’ve learned about growing up while, of course, in the process of growing up: it is, essentially, coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never be a member of 2ne1. haha!

Kidding aside.

I think, It’s so easy to see what I’ve become and yet so hard to see where I am going. Why is that? The future is so untrustworthy. It’s freaky.

Another thing! Yesterday, my sister gave birth to a baby girl. I’m now an aunt. I greeted her a Happy mothers day and she said thank you. See? I’m so grown up already. =)

So, this year we have a new family member, too bad she didn’t wait for my birthday to come out. lol!

Oh well, I just wish I’ll have a birthday that’s as normal as possible.

“Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn’t original sin. He’s born with the tragedy that he has to grow up…a lot of people don’t have the courage to do it.” – Helen Hayes