Quick post: Comment allez vous?

I’ve been always wanting to update this blog but I can’t seem to find any motivation until now.

Last year, I remembered that I wrote my goals and found out that I was only able to cross out the “new phone” part. This year, I am very determined to do a lot of things. So help me. LOL

To start off, I’ve been eating alot for the last year and I can definitely feel and see that I’m gaining a lot of weight. This be said, you already knew my goal. Yep, it’s to lose weight! To begin my year, I already started my diet. Not really “diet”, but I started to cut off or to stop eating RICE during dinner time/at night. I can still eat or rather I still eat rice during breakfast and lunch but not during dinner time. At dinner, I usually eat: oats, fruits most specially bananas, sometimes cereals or bread/wheat bread. I must say I’m getting used to it. I’m on my 3rd week now and I can feel (I just hope this is not me hallucinating) that I’m starting to lose weight. Hopefully, I can continue this not only for months but for years.

Last year, I got a chance to talk to one of my bestest friends and we both agreed that we want to learn a new language for the coming year. So, we enrolled at UP and took MANDARIN (for her) and FRENCH for me. If you will ask me, why I chose French (yes, as you can see in my title).. well, I am definitely sure of one thing, I am not interested in Mandarin! hehe. Anyway, I got a lot of workmates who knew FRENCH/FRENCH MAJOR and I guess I was just fascinated. Last Saturday was our first day and I must say I was nervous at first but it was totally interesting. I get psyched whenever I learn or hear a new French word. I guess that’s a great way to start!

Aside from those things, of course it is still my priority to Save money (Savings). Also, I want to go out of Country for a vacation or even try applying for a job (if there’s an opportunity). Moreover, I want to start a clothing business. The latter part is quite blurry and I still don’t know when and how to start. =( Keeping my fingers crossed for that.

As for now, I guess that’s all that I want to work out for this year. I will definitely update this.

 

 

 

A month of Hiatus

Happy Holidays! It’s been more than a month..since I last posted something here on my blog. Last time was still our Pre Anniversary Celebration and for the past month, weeks and days, a lot of things had already happened. Here’s a catch up:

> My mom were able to move fast the result of the last election. She’s currently so busy being a Lola to my one and only niece. We still experience a lot of misunderstanding most specially when it comes to money, but I just don’t want to make an issue out of it. As we know, fighting over money is a big NO NO NO most importantly to your parents and relatives. =(

> My father, as always is still a big nagger. He’s stubborn and hard headed. Arrgh. As you can see we are not a Perfect family, but I atleast want to have a peaceful one. I just wish that he could take time and reflect on how lucky he is to have us instead of pin pointing and making a big deal out of all the small details.

> My boyfriend and I, just had our POST anniv celebration after the 3rd time that we rescheduled it. We went to a beautiful Hideaway somewhere in BATANGAS! It’s the first time that we went snorkeling together! Will post a blog for this soon.

> As we know, TACLOBAN and other Province in the Philippines, like CEBU, BOHOL and the rest of VISAYAS region experienced natural calamities and it left the provinces devastated. A lot of families lost their shelter, food, clothes and most significantly their Loved ones. It was really a tragic moment not only for them but for the whole country. My highschool friends, decided to help by volunteering in the repacking of relief goods at DSWD. We helped for almost 8 hours. It was really exhausting but the fun part is that we were able to Bond and talk to each other again after a long time. It became a mini reunion for us! Well of course, let’s add the wonderful feeling of helping our fellow Filipinos.

> We went to our Company’s year end party. Of course, I Asked my mom to make a dress for me and it was exactly what I wanted! The party was fun but too bad I didnt even win at the raffle. lol

> We got Promoted to PRODUCTION ANALYST from being a DATA MANAGEMENT CODER for 11 months! A really good news for us! Thank God for all the blessings!

Well, for some of the things that happened that I was not able to include here..maybe I would just make a special blog post for them. One blog post is not enough for me to tell all my new experiences and especially the happy times!

 

“Don’t let the bastards get you down.”

Oh how I missed writing. I’ve been really busy with work lately, early to work and going home really late. That’s how my life’s been up to.

Occupied and stressed. Time is so fast, didn’t even notice that I’m now in my sixth month in my work. I love the job, love my friends, although sometimes I keep having misunderstandings with my co-workers and TL. You know those times that you just can’t contain your emotions anymore and you feel like exploding? yea, those are the times that I loose control over my patience and unintentionally hurt my co-workers. It’s not that I’m a warfreak person but sometimes, I just felt so unappreciated and whenever I do good things for them it always turns out that I’m the one who’s ruining the situations. Ugh.

Anyway, I know how much I’m giving all my efforts for the team and the process. I know that all these things will somehow pay off in time. I won’t ever let them get on my way. Keeping it real positive.

Fix me

If i could describe my feelings right now, coldplay’s fix you would definitely pass as my musical score.

One more day til the weekends but my body is already begging for peace and mercy. I know there’s no easy work or job but i just feel so deprived right now. I was given a lot of task, to be the Person on Charge of our group which leads to having endless responsibilities and accountabilities to our group. There’s a lot of tasks that requires to melt your brain and expand my patience. Not physically tiring but oh st. Peter it’s mentally draining. They also assigned me to learn another process that i don’t even know where to start.

Sometimes, i say to my self that maybe i just need to be more calm and manage my emotions when it comes to work but it’s just so hard to do,to think when you’re mentally exhausted.

Whew, this is my life nowadays, i look stressed, i feel stressed and i dont know how to cope. 😦

Burned up.

It’s been a really hard Monday for me yesterday. A lot of things happened at work and I don’t even know where to start with this blog post. Last week, our Team Leader resigned and this gave all of us a surprise because it was very urgent. Of course, we have no choice but continue with our jobs and work. And now, another member of the team decided to leave the company due to her personal reasons and guess who’s really affected with this? Me! 

Our manager decided that I should go on a training to temporarily replace our team mate. At first, my group mates were bothered by this decision because they thought that I will leave the group and they said that it will have a huge impact for the group’s performance. We talked to our manager and she agreed that everything will just be for a short while. 

I have no choice because they needed someone very urgently and I don’t like to let them down. Anyhow, I feel grateful that they recognize my skills and abilities with my job. I know this will be a burden (because I’ll have to do my task as an RSA member and now also as KFPB) but I know that everything that i’ll be doing now will be worth someday. This will be a big acid test for me. Wish me all the luck! =)

Getting Somewhere

I wish I had a plan, but I don’t.

Thinking where to go, what to do, and the future. When I was younger I used to think that, when I graduate, I just have to find a job, get married and live a happy life. Well, now that I’m working, I realized, that’s not always the case, it’s never like that.

Everything is going by so quickly. Soon I’ll be turning 25 and yet, I’m still uncertain with what I want to do. My friends, have come and gone. They leave and try for better lives outside our country. I would love to do that but, I’m scared of being alone. I’m afraid to be alone. But, what if I’m suppose to be alone?

I’m not going to lie, because of changes, loss, broken hearted, and thoughts. I have become so weak to face the future. But, I’m so close to the future I can feel it. It scares me how close it is. I know that someday, things may happen whether I like it or not. I know I’m not quite in the realm of testing or hard life decisons but the looming velocity at which I’m approaching sharp turns in my future is just undeniable. I feel like a book of unanswered questions, searching desperately for sense in the non-sensical. It’s almost like trying to come up with your own constellations in the night sky, connecting these dots and giving them meaning isn’t as easy as it seems.

Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even in a year.. but eventually things will turn up, you will get better and be able to look back and say with relief.. “I made it”.

Quick post: killing pace

Whew! Everything is in fast track. I just attended our Orientation and I realized that I really don’t have any idea of what I’ll be doing and what kind of job I’m going to have. I ate alone today because I can’t seem to get well or fit in with most of them.  I’ve got a lot to do for these coming weeks and most of them are about my requirements with the company and I don’t know where and what to start. I just can’t believe that I’m at a different company now. It’s just the second day of January and I’m already so tired! Still coughing and my throat is now so scratchy and heavy. I don’t know what to do anymore, antibiotics don’t work. Now trying the old way of gargling lukewarm water with salt!

I just hope that my cough and sorethroat will leave me alone so that I can do my errands as continuously. I am starting to get paranoid again and I really need to get over these pending tasks.

Bright Side

Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.

Tomorrow will be my first day at work and I can’t be more nervous and excited to see and to know all about my new job. I was not able to take a rest from my previous work, and now I have to attend to my new work. It’s a bit frustrating and tiring but I have to cope with it. It’s a bit different from my job, which is of course being a nurse but I’m ready to take challenges and risks. 

I’m still not done with all the requirements, especially with the medical exam (I’m a bit scared though, since I’m anemic and still sick from this cough). But, I’m keeping my hopes up that everything will turn out okay, if this is for me, I believe that everything will fall in their right places. 

I expect that i’ll be able to get well with the new people at work and to be able to easily adapt to the environment and my schedule. I can do this! 

Quick post: Cold feet

I’m scared. I was happy a few hours ago but then, thinking about a lot of things turned my mood upside down.

I’m terrified.. of the future, I’m unknown and still wandering to where I am going. I don’t know which path is for me and which one is misleading. I’m floating, I’m stagnant and I’m undecided.

I’m afraid.. for my parents, time is so fast and they’re snatching away the years. If only I could stop everything and just hug them.

I’m worried.. for us, for him. I want this to last. I want this so bad. Is he the one or this is just a phase? Can we make it or not?

I’m scared.

Trying for Another shot

Tomorrow, I’ll be having an interview with another company. I’m kind of hesitant because I’m not really sure about the position that I’m applying for. It was a company referred by my College friend and she’s also not sure what positions are open. What I do know, is that, I want to try my luck.

In my recent posts regarding my work, I’ve been ranting and sharing my feelings about my co workers and the way they manage the clinic or company. I’m not happy, I’m just getting used to doing the work and talking to them even though I don’t really want to mingle with them. This is the first time that I’ve met a bunch of people  who’s materialistic, histrionic and plastic (I usually meet one or two, but this time it’s a group of people). I don’t want to be like them or even know more about them. I’m just tired of pretending. I can still remember when I got that job, I was so damn happy, but now, smiling is just a smile, I can’t even show any real emotion. I’m tired.

I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow, of course I’m hoping for a positive remark. If not, then, I will try again and again. I’m open to changes and opportunities. If there’s a better one, I will not hesitate to grab and take that chance, even if it means a turn in my career choice. This time, I’m certain. Wish me luck tomorrow! =)