When it’s over

There are days when I wake up and tell myself that it is over. It’s definitely over.

Today is one of those days. 

I feel like I am always being haunted with those places and faces. The rooms and their conversations.

But then I turned around, I see my son sleeping soundly and think to myself that maybe I can still try. I can try for him. 

I prayed and I cried. I did not see my son as a hindrance but a sign of that little hope, that maybe everything can still work out. 

I held him and kissed him. This tiny hope is all I really need right now. 🙂

You and I, 

Hands and quicksand.

Here and then gone.

Heart stolen so many times,

Running around, tired and holding on.

Stuck in a time, where love is a blur.

Pretending is cheap and Hoping is just a word.

Could it be?

You and I.

Nothing to fall back on nothing.

I’m telling you with my eyes. Not with my words.

I really wished it happened.. or maybe not.

Differences between a relationship and a lie..

turns into confusion and distractions.

Everything was perfect and then gone.

Will I ever be enough?

When it comes to you, I don’t know what to do.

More promises, more expectations.

Pointless nights and empty satisfactions.

I know I’ve had enough, but I can’t get enough of you.

Find yourself then find me

Tonight, we end all our questions without answers.

And our paths have crossed, and time has done it’s damage.

You can never drown in a empty pool of doubt.

I know I’ve tried , and failed,

’cause I’ve been here before it’s so hard to see, can you still hear me?

As I’m screaming out in vain,

there’s no need to convince me,

when there’s nothing left, to say.

Make me believe, that summer’s not grey without you.

couldn’t you see, that I built my whole world around you.

We were never lost, our faiths were reassuring

a lesson learned, inside a vacant hallway

with the lights dimmed low, it’s clear to see that it’s me who’s breaking’.

I know your touch is real, cause I’ve felt it before now it’s so hard to feel

I mistakenly let you..

I mistakenly let you tug at my heart strings a bit, as if it was already yours to play with.

You want a new life. But you take the new one you get every morning for granted.

There’s no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it’s gone it’s like it wasn’t there at all

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

I try to teach my heart not to want things it can’t have.

Hope is the last thing a person does before they are defeated.

Sometime around midnight by the airborne toxic event.

You just have to see her
and you know that she’ll break you in two.

As much as I enjoy the concept of being “just friends,” in reality, it’s a bizarre form of torture.

What hurts more than a promise broken is a promise not even remembered.

There is always going to be that one awkward moment when you walk by that person & remember all that you once had.

Here I am, hear…

Here I am, heart wrapped in gauze. I’m bound by my own inadequate mistakes. Lightning fills the midnight sky, stars look from up above, a symbol of your dying, lying love..

Where did we start?

When did things end?

When was the last time that we held each other’s hand?

When did we begin and when can we be through?

I’m through with you. How can I forgive you now, with all the pain you bring upon yourself and upon me?

How can I forget you now that we’ve brought ourselves this far? Where did time go?

What happened to the universal feeling, the universal healing? With an outstretched arm can I hold the stars?

Would they fade away or burn and scar? I’ll grab these stars and make them mine.

All I need is time. Why do we always want what we can’t have and we always have what we don’t want? I am the essence of a wounded spirit. I am your broken heart. Subsided, subdued. My solo aptitude. The stars aren’t that far, I can feel them looking down on me, so vigorously. This brokenness will never be my home. Without you I’ll never feel alone. hidden lies stay closed in the midst of absolute cries. time is sending thoughts that show the pain in my eyes.

The love that we created, it’s plan to fall and die take me back to my childhood when this heart was still mine.

If this is the easy way out, why does my heart stop me- If this is just another test why can’t I try it all again- GENTLE YETSTRONG- Loving and silent- I die every time I see you, yet killed you so manyways-Held together by strategy, a facade is just scenery we have seen too manytimes before- To be found as a fake-

I wish you could have stayed the way i dreamt of you ..