Carelessly unaware

I’ve read something today and I’m not sure if that particular post from a friend (if she’s really a friend of mine because I’m suddenly having a change of heart) pertains also to me or not. Although some parts of the post is unrelated to her blog title, I think I was able to comprehend the vital parts of it well and I just had a sudden urge to write my feelings down, too. I believe I need to disclose my opinions and ideas regarding that post.

Yes, I know, I got a bit out of control when I shouted and made a scene with my manager and in front of the President of the company. Unprofessional, I know it is. But, sometimes when you’ve had enough, you lose your composure and you untimely get out of your shell. That’s what happened to me. I’m not perfect and I get angry too. I remember the time you said that you went hysterical at the school where you previously worked at because they were holding your supposed to be salary. See? No one’s impeccable and we get uncontrollable at times especially when we’re overwhelmed by raging emotions. It may be a minor reaction or a huge one, it makes no difference we’re all flawed. 

Let’s say your parents brought you up differently and in a nice manner, so do you have an exact idea on how my own parents brought me up? For you to compare our families just by the way we reacted on things?! I think, it’s just so unfair and unreasonable to do that. How people respond to things doesn’t necessarily depend on how they we’re taught by their parents. Do you even know the other factors of life and how a person develops?! A person’s personality and attitude is an end product of all experiences from his or her peers, environment and from the things that he or she sees from other person or even media. There’s a lot of considerations to put into mind not just how someone is being brought up by his or her parents. So please do not judge families or parents, because you don’t have an inkling idea about it.

Lastly, next time that you’re going to write, please write accordingly and make sure that the thoughts are in the appropriate places. Gather your ideas first before writing them down or better yet, read your post all over again and do proof reading or editing which ever way you’re comfortable with.

You were one of my few friends at work and I don’t even know now if we’re still like that. I just know that I can’t trust you now, I can’t talk to you like before and I can’t be with you because you’re the one who’s turning away from me, from us. You’ve become aloof and tactless. It’s all because of your insensitivity. 

I know, I don’t need to speak out, backfire or even answer your post because we don’t even know who’s the main person you’re talking about or if you’re pertaining to all of your past workmates. I just think, I need to let all my emotions come out because I’m a bit irritated with what you just did. However, it’s your blog post, I know you have your right to write everything that you want. On the other hand, this is also my blog and I can write anything and everything that’s on my train of thoughts. =)

You’re not you

I heard what you’re doing now. I heard that you are having a good time with your new friends. That you party a lot, free and just being someone you are not. I heard that you and your new friends are getting along well. Really? Do you really think you can get away with all that? Honestly, I don’t really care because I know that all of it are just your facade. I was just wondering, how could you do all that?

Posting photos at the party, flirting and getting drunk with your new girl friends on Facebook. Are you really that disrespectful? For only just 2 weeks you are doing that and you are not really thinking of the pain it will cause me. My friends can see those things and they are really not happy with what you’re doing and it’s effects on me. I’m at the phase of  moving on and yet you go around like nothing happened? How could you seriously do that? Okay, maybe you really want to  enjoy life and be who you want to be. But, how come you became so insensitive? You did not even wait for the pain to subside. You are just thinking of yourself until the end and that is really making me so hurt. I know, all of those things are just part of your pretentious acts, you’re trying to tell yourself that you are doing fine but in reality you are a mess. You are trying to hide all your weakness by showing everyone, including me that you are happy on your own and that you are enjoying your life being free and with new friends but when you’re alone, you think of me and how you’ll ever move on without me. You think you are being yourself and just doing the things that you like, but we both know that you’re just wasting your time because everything that you’re doing now are just for the moment. All of those friends, that you think are your friends will all be gone without you even taking a blink.  The best friends that you’ll have in life are the ones that challenge you and make you grow into a better person and not just someone you go out every Friday or Saturday night with . But, whatever reasons you have, I  do know that it’s not you. It’s just a part of you trying to move on and forget, and you are doing it quickly because you just wanted to end the pain as soon as possible. Surely you’re going to be a wreck in no time.  I did not make that decision, so I think it’s my right to have the respect that I deserve. If you really care about me, you should have been sensitive. But, maybe you’re really not. That’s why you keep on hurting me, even after we’re gone.

Whatever you’re doing now, I just want you to be happy but be man enough to think about  my feelings, even if you don’t love me or care for me anymore. I think I deserve some respect. I think that after 3 years, I’ve done my part saving you and this time, I want you to pick up yourself. I care about you a lot.  Do not settle for temporary things. You might think that you’re okay now. But, you’re not.