Working from Home

Its been 2 months and we are still on quarantine. I honestly lost track of time and I usually count the months and not the days anymore. I spent my birthday at home with my two lovies and it was just so intimate. Not as what I have planned in mind but you just got to do what you can during this time.

Anyway, two months passed and I am still working from home. I think that its both a curse and a gift at the same time. A gift because I get to work at the comfort of our home, no need to take risks and commute just to go to the office. I feel so relieved and blessed that I am working in a company that is concerned about its employees. I am so very happy and thankful that atleast, i get to keep my work during this difficult time in the midst of the pandemic. I know not everyone is given this kind of chance (I know there has been massive lay offs globally and I am one of the few lucky ones to still be able to work and save money)

Well the curse part is my “momma heart” . Everytime I need to work, I feel a bit of a tinged whenever my son asks to play but I can’t. It also breaks me when I have a meeting and I can’t attend to his needs. At night he always asks if I am done with my work and he likes it when I get to just sit down with him even for a few minutes before I get back to work. I always have this guilt feeling that I am not doing more for him when its my work time. I also feel sorry for my partner (who is also working from home on a graveyard shift) that he needs to wake up at a very awkward time just to look after our son while I work.

I guess your can never really have it all. There will always be pros and cons in anything. My partner keeps me encouraged and tells me to never feel any guilt because this is all just temporary (atleast just until we get back to our “new” normal lives)

What’s your WFH schedule? Do you find it easy to work at home or not?

Call the shots

Time just flew by me and voila! It’s already March. 😊

As much as I want to be consistent in updating this Blog. It is just hard to do. Work has been overwhelming, I am pretty much occupied with the Project that we are working on. How I wish this ends soon but I really do not have any clue on how and when will this end.

January was disappointing, and February is a mix of extremes as well. I am very much concerned and worried about this NCOV-19 Global spread. Numbers of cases keep on adding up daily and it has become the scare of the year already.  We’re suppose to have our first family Out of town this year (July) but I am really scared about this. I’m scared for my son and most especially my parents. I just wish everything will be stable and cases would minimize and recover soon. Let us all pray for this to end.

We also got worried and stressed with how Mason is acting up at school. He’s becoming defiant and won’t even sit still. He keeps on saying No to everything. He follows instructions when its just us but at school, he’s a runner, like really, I mean it. He’s keeps on running and won’t sit down for any activity. He would at times but only when he likes to. His dad and I got really concerned that we had to implement new rules in the house and some changes in how we discipline him.

On a more personal note, February was also a very productive Month for me, and for us. We celebrated Valentines day by eating out as a family and opening our First Joint account. We also opened up MP2 investment and I guess, everything is going according to plan in terms of our plan to save up. I am so proud at how good he is doing in saving and preparing for our plans. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I have asked him to follow LAW OF ATTRACTION and we put our Long term Goals on our Refrigerator so we can see it everyday 😊. How do you keep track of your Goals?

And ohhhh I also lost weight by Intermittent Fasting, I actually started late November last year and I tried to follow the plan through December but it was really hard due to the celebrations for Christmas and New year. January came and I still am losing some weight until February (although I am not clean eating, there’s still some sweets and lots of carbs) But I am really in awe that I was able to maintain my current weight which is 50-51kg (From almost 60kg). A lot of my friends also noticed the changes and I plan to clean eat hopefully this Month.

Its only March and we are already progressing with the Financial goals and my Weight Goal.

I hope that this summer, I’ll be able to pursue my plan of learning how to sew and more online learning. I’ll add teaching Mason more as well this summer.

Life without a Yaya

I get questioned a lot on how we manage to raise a toddler amidst not having a Yaya or helper.

I’m telling you it’s hard! Try asking my partner! Lol

It’s not that we don’t like having someone to help us or we cannot afford one. It’s just that nowadays its hard to find someone who can be trusted. Lucky are those who were able to find a reliable one.

Right now here’s our doable schedule:

Monday and Friday, (I requested for an earlier shift thanks to my managers!) I go to work at 11am and by 9pm I get to go home and once I’m home, Bryan will start his work, take note, he’ll work right after he looked after Mason All day! (Dads are really superheroes)

Then Tuesday to Thursday if we’re lucky and my mom sticks to the schedule of going into our home to look after Mason then Bryan will have enough sleep up until Thursday and I’ll go with my usual mid shift schedule. Come Friday, Bryan will again look after Mason all day until I get home.

If Mason has school then that’s my task. I’ll sleep at 2am and wakes up at 8am to bring him to school and wait for him, after fetching him, I’ll rest like for 30 minutes? And off to work as I leave him with my mom.

If there’s someone more worn out than me in this situation it must be Bryan. We are two parents to a single kid and we’re feeling all these exhaustion both mentally and physically. Can you even imagine the workload for Single parents!?

It’s true that being a parent you have no vacation leaves, you do it 24/7 and sometimes even more than your body and mind can handle. Exhausting but definitely one of the most fulfilling human experience ever!


He is now 28 months.

28 months full of laughter and frustrations.

He is our ball of fire and cloud nine at the same time.

He is still struggling. I get really frustrated whenever someone asks me if he can talk.

No he cant. He can say some words, he uses some words consistently but he cannot talk in full 2 or 3 word sentences yet.

He still doesn’t call me “Mommy” and he doesn’t call his Daddy “Daddy” either. This is quite alarming and worrying. Imagine the waiting I have to do every day, just to hear him say these words. Every parent longs to hear that word but I don’t know when I’ll be able to hear him say these words.

Reading online really whacks my brain out. There are lots of research and posts that will drag me to diagnose my son. It’s really scary especially when you try to compare him to those you see on Facebook or even just walking around the mall and then you notice someone with similar age as your son and see that boy talk and communicate to his parents, makes you want to bawl your eyes and think that something is really wrong.

As a first time Mom, I don’t really know how to start and what I am looking out for. I didn’t know that I have to teach him, I thought that he’ll just learn everything he sees, that’s about it. But turns out that’s not the way it should be. As a parent, I have to talk to him, show him everything and teach him anything about life and ways. I honestly didn’t know. I just usually let him be.

Looking back, I sometimes wish I should have done something sooner. Over and over again.

He has come a long way already and I am happy with his progress..

He communicates with us with his simple gestures. He definitely follows instructions, he knows the labels of the things, He points, he shows us things, he waves, byes and says hi, he likes playing with us, he pretend plays a lot and he loves to cuddles so much.

He responds to his name, he has strong eye contact, he is not hyper or hypo sensitive to anything, knows how to calm himself, he is not addicted to anything and he understands us. He goes to playschool and his teacher tells us that he can follow the activities along with his classmates. This somehow makes me feel that I am just worrying tooo much.

I’m still going to update and observe him more. I have my full trust in him because he is my son. I am already thinking of things that we might do next year to further increase and improve his communication like speech therapy or such.

For any moms that has a similar experience like mine, let’s talk!

A reminder to please do not compare your son to anyone and/or not read everything online. I think that, if you feel that something is definitely wrong with your child go to the doctor and ask for help.

Something’s been bothering me for the longest time

I’ve been busy recently juggling motherhood and work. It’s really tiring but Mason has been a ball of happiness and I just can’t get enough of him. I think we have a love-hate relationship. One moment I hate him because he’s so stubborn and all over the place but the next minute we’re cuddling, kissing and laughing like we’ve known each other forever.

I’m a paranoid person. Yes, really paranoid. I get anxious about something in a snap and I tend to think and over-analyze things. I always have the worst case scenario in my mind and Bryan would translate this as being a pessimist person.

Last Month, Mason had wounds and scars all over his body, more like eczema. We went and visited his original Pedia near my Parent’s house and it was diagnosed as IMPETIGO. Well, nothing to worry because it just needs antibiotic and some ointment. But what really got me worried was because the Pedia asked if he can now say some words, we were not sure if he really can say words because we only hear syllables and sounds of him blabbing. One time we heard him say dididi.. is this daddy? Mimimi.. Mommy? and Dede..or booby? We are not sure. We are in doubt. Then, one thing caught my attention is that he tip toes. His pedia suggested we go and check with a developmental pedia to make sure.

Her feedback, woke up my inner senses. Is my son making eye contact? Does he look when I call his name? Does he point or wave? Sleep issues? Mason at 20 months looks all normal to us but these signs that I googled are showing signs that I am scared about. But come to think of it, I never really modeled pointing and waving, I did not teach him that much, we don’t usually talk to him, we just let him watch tv all day!! We never let him go outside of our house to see other people except on weekends where we go to his Grandpa and Grandma. Am I bad parent?

After that Pedia check up, I kept on googling. Same concerns and diagnosis were coming up, the more I search, the more I get scared. I opened it up to Bryan and my Mom and they got angry at me, they’re telling me to give Mason a chance, that not all child are the same in developments and milestones, that instead of looking at the wrong signs, I should be looking at his achievements.

I started to intervene and I kept on reading. I changed our ways, I made a routine. Just this April, I asked my Mom and Bryan to limit TV time. No TV in the morning until after lunch, TV will be 2hrs only. I started waking Mason up in the morning at 7am to go outside, expose him to the sun, play with him and let him see other people. I also became consistent in reading books to him, I played with him, I try to follow his lead , floortime and I teach him pretend play, I devoted my time on him when we’re together and its just two weeks since I started and I’ve already seen some improvements.

My mom taught him how to bless (bless you), I taught him how to kiss and High Five. He also started sleeping early and waking up early. We never really had issues in feeding him. He likes to eat food, biscuits, rice and whatever we put on his plate. He also know now how to use the spoon because he used to use only fork. No Pointing yet, but he pokes point some things that he sees. But I try to point and point and point so that he’ll mimic what I’m doing. I noticed one time, we saw kids playing basketball and the next day, he was trying to play basketball in the court where he saw the kids. He also imitates us when we mop or sweep the floor. He has always been so social, he likes playing with other kids, he approaches and smiles at them whenever he sees toddlers like him. He also gives me his food whenever I ask him by opening my mouth so as to say Ahhh, then he puts it in my mouth, he learned to take his shoes when he sees us going to the door. He likes scribbling so I bought him papers and colorpens. He loves his Mega bloks and that’s the first thing he does when he wakes up. He likes peek-a-boo so much. He likes to laugh a lot and play catch-me-if-you-can. The only tantrums that he has is when he is so sleepy, he cannot contain his emotions (all toddlers do that btw). He also says “hindi” which is No in English when he doesnt like something but again, we are unclear if he really means No or not.

I am not sure if its because of too much screen time or we never really taught him that well or we didn’t had any routine or consistent tasks at all that he was a bit left behind, but I am seeing some progress and I plan to continue and enjoy his childhood. I know that not all kids are the same, they all have their own timeline, even his cousin was like that, she only started to talk and point things at 30 months old. I will not worry anymore and I will stop googling things, I’ll trust my son, wait a little more for his skills and abilities and I’ll keep praying for his health. I just hope that he talks soon because I am dying to hear his cute voice saying Mommy! I love you!!




Working breastfeeding Mom

Ever since I became part of the Breastfeeding Pinays group in Facebook (Thank you to my friend who added me 🙂 ), I became aware of a lot of things in terms of nursing, taking care my child and most especially the significance of breastfeeding my son. Although I do not 100% breastfeed my son anymore, I still make sure to religiously breast pump and bring home a bottle of breast milk. For the past 6 months, breastfeeding has really helped a lot especially in our finances and the good health it brings to my son. Hence, my partner and I would really want to continue breast feeding and breast pumping.

When I came back to work, I used to go to the clinic to pump but I realized that it’s a bit uncomfortable since we do not have a lactation room so I need to breast pump in the patient’s room. I feel worried at times because any moment some one might use the patient’s room and will see me breast pump. With this, I settled to breast pump in my work station (my previous work station has a lot of space and I can really pump without anyone knowing). This routine continued until the last day of our stay in the Building. Come December the Company decided to move to a new location. New location means new work station and our new desk style is not same as before thus, I needed to breast pump again in the clinic. from 3 times a day, my breast pumping schedule was reduced to once a day. The clinic has the same area with the old one but now they have two patient’s area but still no chair, provided with only the bed and a table and I was okay with it.

I do not usually discuss my concerns on this but one event made me reach out to our Admin. A screenshot of my email below


I was really disappointed that day that I decided to send an email and express the inconvenienced that the process has caused me.

I am so glad that I sent this email (maybe just a bit late) because just today, I was able to use the new lactation room in our office. I am also very thankful that they were able to take action on my concern swiftly. I reverted an email appreciating their efforts on this. I am happy that with this small act, I was able to contribute to a much bigger value to support all other new and soon to be moms of our company to breastfeed and breast pump 🙂