Quick post: The ‘ber’ months

Yep its here. We are here. Hello to the first day of September. Did you feel any difference at all? 😂

Who would have thought that we’ll be welcoming the much awaited ‘ber’ months while on quarantine? During this time of the year, I would usually scroll and look at my calendar trying to fit every reunion, out of town celebrations, parties and events with what’s left on my vacation leaves. But this year, my leaves are just sitting, waiting to be used and would probably be carried on for next year.

There are really things that we cannot control like this (this whole pandemic actually). And as someone with anxiety, cancelled plans makes me really stressed. So with the coming ‘ber’ months, I decided to make and create some of the things I am looking forward to. Atleast this gives me something to be excited about, something to motivate me and have something I can control.

Also, writing all these stuff up so that i’ll remember what I did during the pandemic 😅

One day

One day, I’ll be able to just roll my eyes and not care about what others will think about me.

One day, I’ll be able to go to places I’ve never been and wander every detail and scene.

One day, I’ll obtain happiness, not materialistically but by doing the things that will make me smile.

One day, I’ll be able to look at you, without any doubts and hesitations but with faith and trust.

One day, I’ll show you how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve changed beyond my imperfections.

One day, Someday.

In awe of His Awesomeness

It’s been three days and I haven’t had the chance to update my blog. I became busy-but-not-really these past few days. I’m really happy but maybe I’ll tell more about it next week after I’m done with all the things related to it. But, I’m intensified and  spooked all at the same time. I really hope everything will turn out fine.

Keep praying, it’ll come true. It may not be in the exact package you wanted but it’ll be what God thinks is best for you.

These are the times..

These are the times where I wanted someone to talk to me so bad and just be left alone at the same time. The times where I usually drown myself watching Zombiefied movies to somehow divert my attention.  I’m not sure where I should put myself. I have no plan at all or maybe I got tired planning things that never really happen. This is not new to me, I can feel it almost every year since I’ve graduated and I’m so fed up already. Maybe even my friends are also tired of hearing all these dramas that I’ve been saying. Yes, I’m one of those stereotypes who hide everything by smiling, giggling, laughing and even by telling jokes that makes no sense at all. I’m usually  found inflating my ego to the point of nausea.

The truth is I’m scared of her.

I always carry out the pressure that she makes me feel. She’s my weakness and this weakness is dragging me away from her. Why do I always feel like I have to live up to her expectations? Do I even have a choice? All I want is to have a goal, a plan but I’m scared that everything will be washed out again and ends up with her blaming me all my life. ='(