I am Grateful

Saw this post again from selfcarespotlight on Instagram and thought I would do and list down these gratitude prompts 😊

It has been 9 months since the first lockdown and we are still under community quarantine and with year 2021 still a blur. These past months, I had more anxiety attacks and my mood has been fluctuating. And although I have been very down most of the time of the year, I always make it a point to feel thankful and blessed.

Okay, so lets start with the Person I am glad to have in my life. Honestly there are a lot of them but to narrow it down to just one person, I think my partner gets all the credit. I am just so thankful to have my partner in my life. Moms who had it tough this year, frontliner moms, post partum moms, pregnant moms and single moms and work from home moms like me..and to have a partner by my side supporting and helping me throughout is a gift. If there is anything, I totally think that our relationship has grown and we bonded more since I am at home with him and our son.

I am just excited for the upcoming holidays. Having a child with you on Christmas and New years day is ten folds the happiness and I cant wait to celebrate the Holidays with the rest of the families. I hope and pray that we’ll be safe and sound even after the holidays. I am also looking forward for 2021, there’s a saying “new year, new you” and I think most people use the new year to come out of and have a clean slate. Its like another opportunity to get things right and new year brings hope to everyone.

There’s not really any specific positive news that I have for our family have lately but I think that us being healthy and complete as we close 2020 is already something good and positive and should always be thankful for. Another thing is having to keep our jobs amidst the pandemic. Losing jobs in this difficult time is truly devastating and I just cant imagine what Could happen to us and our families. Always grateful.

If there’s a particular memory that will always make me smile its definitely the last time that me and my partner put on an all nighter and talked till sun up. We reminisced and looked back 5 years ago to what we have now. It’s amazing to see that all our personal goals have come into fruition. Although Our long term goals are still ongoing, I am sure we’ll achieve it as long as we keep our eyes on the target.

My favorite part about the Holidays is when I see my child beaming with happiness. When we celebrated NEw year’s eve, Mason suddenly blurted, “thank you for the celebration Momi, I loveyou!” Huhu.. Oh My heart!! Definitely seeing him being so happy and thankful for these little things is my favorite part of the Holidays.

I think, I should make another post about this but for the mean time, I hope 2021 brings light and hopefully be virus free for everyone.

2020!!

 

Hello 2020!!

Almost 5 months since my last update and upon opening my WordPress. I found that I have been journaling my life for 8 years now. Happy Anniversary studdedthoughts!!

It’s amazing how time flies but what’s more amazing is how much we have changed. (Think back to 2010—and boom mind blown!!)

But to be honest, I am a bit disappointed with my 2019 self, a lot of my Goals did not come into fruition and I lack the discipline to do them. I got really careless (about money) and stress really took over me especially for the last few months of the year.

Looking back in 2019. Definite highlight would be when I went to Japan!!! Although I did not go with my family, it was something memorable because it’s my first time to go without my son and it’s also my first travel out of the country since I had Mason. One thing that made me really happy and proud would be the accomplishments done by my partner. He was really productive this year and although I lack productiveness. I felt like what he have accomplished is my accomplishments as well so somehow it feels like it is still a win-win situation.

Well, 2020 welcomed me with a BANG!! Like really a Bang of negativity!!! I lost my phone last weekend and this wrecked my budget for the year. I needed to buy a new phone and the hassle and late night thinking got me super stressed.  Although this is not the best way to enter the year I am still looking forward for 2020.

I have a lot of things going on recently (well mostly at work though) but in my mind I have tons of things that I really really want to do.

Thinking about my GOALS.. I would like to focus more on saving enough money, learning how to sew, attending online classes and losing weight. These are the specific Goals that I would like to prioritize for this year.

 

Wish me luck!!!

2017: A look back

i was reading my 2018 horoscope overview and realized if my 2017 horoscope somehow come close on what was perceived prior 2017, funny that somehow the predictions were close to it, but yes! I do believe in zodiac signs and horoscopes or how the sun, moon, stars and planets aligned and its effects on someone’s life. Heh.

Anyway, I’ve been occupied with a lot of things, including the holiday rush and my baby, I was not able to update my blog for some weeks or even a month?

Looking back, 2017 was definitely a year of struggles, emotions and improvements all at the same time. Half of the year were hardships and failures and the second half were full of hope and progress.

I honestly think that this was a make or break year for my relationship and my family. I lost a whole lot of self-esteem and I’m glad that I’m somehow back on track.

Here’s a quick overview of how my 2017 went:

January: Well, the year started with the proofs and all, January 1 marked it. He received a text from someone saying “Happy New year too, babe”, after that, everything became a blur, we fought on the first day of the year. I knew then that that message will be the start of something more.

February: I felt distant, I knew that something was up! I’m living with a stranger and a life full of lies. We celebrated Valentine’s Day, he prepared something special but I smelled something fishy, definitely not the Honey Garlic Salmon that he made that night. He went out the next day, the prices were down, and so he might as well availed.

March: We fought almost every day and I started investigating and found his online accounts, his comments and all. I had panic and anxiety attacks. He kept on lying or lying with girls? Lol. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. I am watching and waiting of what will happen next. Almost thought that I am having post-partum whatever but I knew better. I felt sorry for my baby.

Still on track with my plans to save. I opened my UITF account.

April: Bam! I found out about it (Praying really helps!), running through his Grab history while he was sleeping, I was able to confirm them. He denied everything but it was all in front of us. Everything happened so fast. He hurt me physically and mentally. His father knew about it, I said it to everyone. He has no shame at all or was he?

May: It was hazy. He confessed. I was not happy, I wake up dragging myself to work. I kept on praying, I kept on reading on things to do. I was a mess. I came home drunk day after day. Self-esteem went downhill. My birthday was nothing special, it was the worst. I even went to a counsellor! I want to get out!!!

June: I found out that he tried to contact someone from that place. I decided to move. I went back to our house, to my parents’. I cried all day and night. I only had full of hate for him. A month full of contemplation. Full of doubts and decisions to made. I finally gave him a chance, our family a second chance.

I got so busy with my Baby’s first Birthday DIYs.

July:  It was my baby’s 1^st birthday. We came back. I stopped checking his online accounts’ activities. I decided to focus on myself and my baby. Anxieties and nightmares are still there. Every night I pray for guidance.

August: Slowly I am starting to get back up. I keep moving but it is hard. Somehow living a normal life. My baby is growing more handsome every day!

Still focused on my goal. Finally opened my Stocks account but hasn’t started trading yet.

September: I decided to learn how to do make up. I watched tons of YouTube videos from Michelle Dy, Anna Cay and Tina Yong. I bought the necessary materials. I started to love make up!

October: I got back into reading and still more about make ups! Better late than never! Anyway, we celebrated his birthday like a normal family.

November: Christmas is fast approaching, we started our Christmas shopping as early and we also put up our Christmas tree last week of November. We went to a disastrous birthday party. There are still fights (financial and some personal things) but I am keeping my hopes high.

December: Fully scheduled Month. We had lots of events to attend. We went to a wedding, Christmas parties (went to our company Yearend event and I did my make up!!) and family gatherings. It is funny but whenever my baby sees us hugging he would beam and laugh out loud, definitely something that will always melt my heart.

Oh!! I started baking too! (Still needs more practice btw!) J J J

Well, I guess that’s it. First 6-7 months were definitely something I would rather forget but turns out, they were as clear as water while I’m writing this. I honestly mostly remember those first few months of the year than the recent ones. Heh!

If there’s one thing that I realized about this year, it was definitely all about myself and how strong I have become all these months. Some would ask me why I came back, I came back not because I’m weak, but because I am strong and I know that, everyone knows that. I was able to pick myself up with the help of my friends, best friends and my mother. I surely felt that something in me have changed into something better and prouder.

I came back stronger than before and more hopeful. I look at my son and have seen how fast he have grown and my love for him grows a billion hearts more. My growth game is definitely strong because of my son. 🙂

I will put on my Goals for 2018 for my next post!! Excited to make all of it into a reality!!

Happy 1 year!

Today is my blog’s First year anniversary, whew! I’ve always wanted to have my own space on the internet, without any spams, and thank goodness I switched to WordPress.com. For the past 1 year, this has been my refuge and my platform in which I tell, write and show my feelings, emotions and photos of those memorable things that has happened and still happening in my life. From muffinsfornaiz, sillybluff and finally Studdedthoughts (will probably stick with this one) So glad that I was able to pursue writing and continue updating this blog, even though I have crazy schedules and unplanned errands.

It’s been a year and I’m hoping for more lunatic experiences and keepsakes of my life. I just wish I can update this blog more often and be able to interact with those followers who’s also combating the same things as I do. yiha!

Cheers! 2013!

Bright Side

Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.

Tomorrow will be my first day at work and I can’t be more nervous and excited to see and to know all about my new job. I was not able to take a rest from my previous work, and now I have to attend to my new work. It’s a bit frustrating and tiring but I have to cope with it. It’s a bit different from my job, which is of course being a nurse but I’m ready to take challenges and risks. 

I’m still not done with all the requirements, especially with the medical exam (I’m a bit scared though, since I’m anemic and still sick from this cough). But, I’m keeping my hopes up that everything will turn out okay, if this is for me, I believe that everything will fall in their right places. 

I expect that i’ll be able to get well with the new people at work and to be able to easily adapt to the environment and my schedule. I can do this! 

2013 goals

These past few years, I seem to just settle for things that will go my way, I tend to get used to the things that I do everyday, without even having s main goal or objectives of what I want and what I want to have. This year, I want to fulfill at least some of them.I want to have a very productive year, skill wise and money matter. To have the things that I want and to do the things that I love.

So, here are my 2013 goals (not resolutions) to have and to do:

> To be able to budget and save money. To not forget to keep up with my savings every month.

> To be more health aware and insist my parents to visit the doctor every time that we have.

> To be able to spend time with my parents and to at least let them go and eat out.

> To be able to maintain and control my anger.

> To buy myself a new cellphone (I really want to have an instagram account!!), or maybe wait for my brother to buy me one! hah! =))) Keeping my fingers crossed.

> To buy (my long time wish!) a DSLR, I’ve been craving to have this, for the longest time!

> To travel, away from the country.

> To be able to study and keep my nursing mind updated!

I know, it will be very hard, since I want to save money and yet, I want to buy material things, travel and to study. I hope, I can do and buy everything. Goodluck! Cheers for 2013! This will be my year! Let’s go!