I am sewing again!!

Ever since we moved and started life with our new family, my partner and I have been trying to explore new hobbies that captures our interests. He started on his wood works and cooking while I explored on baking, make-up and cooking. I just can’t believe the amount spent on the baking materials that I bought but ended up not being used at all. Who else? lol.

Since last year my sister has been encouraging me to pursue baking or sewing (so I can sell on her online shop) but I just had no time and I really think baking is not for me! All the measuring that does not seem to match at all and dishes to clean after messing up the kitchen does not make me satisfied. Sorry!

When The pandemic and work from home started, I was occupied for the first 2 months with cooking different dishes, I tried to somehow make myself feel like I’m in a restaurant (except there’s no rest part here haha!). Before the pandemic we used to go out every weekend but now there’s really no place to go. Cooking has become a part of my daily task that does not make me look forward to it anymore. I remembered I started making masks (the current trend due to the pandemic) then next thing I know I was scrolling the internet and found this cute cami top with tie straps. I thought it would be easy to do then I researched her Instagram and found the essentials club! I just love her works and DIYs then boom, I bought all fabrics that I found on Instagram. LOL

I started first week of June and I got obsessed and started creating and making more. I know I needed more practice but my creations are not bad that either (maybe for a beginner?) Even made an instagram account all for my sewing photo drop (@thisissewnaiz). Although this is not something that can be source of my income (for now? Hopefully when I’m good at it then this can be a source of income) I guess this skill will do come in handy when the time comes.

Nevertheless, I am just so stoked that I was able to finally start my sewing journey and eventually clean up my closet and have an all personally sewn wardrobe. Who would have thought that I will be able to relive my forgotten love for sewing? I guess it is never too late to always start a new hobby or unlock a long awaited skill.

What have you been up to lately? Is there any new skills or hobby that you have learned during this pandemic?

Call the shots

Time just flew by me and voila! It’s already March. 😊

As much as I want to be consistent in updating this Blog. It is just hard to do. Work has been overwhelming, I am pretty much occupied with the Project that we are working on. How I wish this ends soon but I really do not have any clue on how and when will this end.

January was disappointing, and February is a mix of extremes as well. I am very much concerned and worried about this NCOV-19 Global spread. Numbers of cases keep on adding up daily and it has become the scare of the year already.  We’re suppose to have our first family Out of town this year (July) but I am really scared about this. I’m scared for my son and most especially my parents. I just wish everything will be stable and cases would minimize and recover soon. Let us all pray for this to end.

We also got worried and stressed with how Mason is acting up at school. He’s becoming defiant and won’t even sit still. He keeps on saying No to everything. He follows instructions when its just us but at school, he’s a runner, like really, I mean it. He’s keeps on running and won’t sit down for any activity. He would at times but only when he likes to. His dad and I got really concerned that we had to implement new rules in the house and some changes in how we discipline him.

On a more personal note, February was also a very productive Month for me, and for us. We celebrated Valentines day by eating out as a family and opening our First Joint account. We also opened up MP2 investment and I guess, everything is going according to plan in terms of our plan to save up. I am so proud at how good he is doing in saving and preparing for our plans. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I have asked him to follow LAW OF ATTRACTION and we put our Long term Goals on our Refrigerator so we can see it everyday 😊. How do you keep track of your Goals?

And ohhhh I also lost weight by Intermittent Fasting, I actually started late November last year and I tried to follow the plan through December but it was really hard due to the celebrations for Christmas and New year. January came and I still am losing some weight until February (although I am not clean eating, there’s still some sweets and lots of carbs) But I am really in awe that I was able to maintain my current weight which is 50-51kg (From almost 60kg). A lot of my friends also noticed the changes and I plan to clean eat hopefully this Month.

Its only March and we are already progressing with the Financial goals and my Weight Goal.

I hope that this summer, I’ll be able to pursue my plan of learning how to sew and more online learning. I’ll add teaching Mason more as well this summer.

Have at least One Person

I worry for a lot of things. I overthink, I get stress easily and I really get into mess most of the time. But guess what? Surprisingly, I always pull through no matter what. Nope! I don’t have any super powers or not all my stars are invariably aligned but one thing I do know is that I always have One Person to help me.

 

I think that as a person, it’s important that we identify that we cannot do all things. We’ll never understand everything and not everything will fall into our hands unexpectedly. Most of the time a person gets really depressed is because they always seem to keep it all in a bottle. They seem to  take everything and are afraid to expand their thoughts and share it to others, it could be because they are scared or they think that they can handle it.

 

But truth is, we will always need someone. It’s a Human Need. I’m not saying that you need everyone but all I’m saying is.. ONE Person is enough. That One person do not really need to help us financially (good if you have one though hehehe!) or physically but that One Person is enough to help you overcome your suffocating thoughts.

 

Aside from my Partner, I have one person at the office (in times that I feel like office work, my boss or everyone at work is pushing me to my limit) in which I confide to, to help me broaden my thoughts, gather my wits and control my emotions. This person lets me see the other side or putting yourself in that person’s shoes situation.  I have one person who I talk to when my partner and I have a misunderstanding, she listens and gives sensible advices. Simple but it works!

 

Do you have that ONE person?

It’s a Social Media Thing

Recently I have blocked a lot of friends/online friends on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

tIME

One of my Best Friends used to say that she gets really depressed whenever she sees some posts on Facebook about some of our friends becoming successful in their career and their “life”. I must admit that I also feel this too (before) but I have learned to avoid feeling jealous/envy because really it’s all in the mind.

I guess it helped that my partner never really get jealous about other people’s posts on Facebook. I don’t know if it is what he really feel but we had one conversation where he mentioned that he doesn’t really care, he likes to gossip on facebook though hehehe. But he doesn’t compare in terms of “success”.

Also, I must press that not everything you see online is real, even stories and news are not always true.

But, its hard since we live in a world where social media is domineering. As they say, If you are not on Facebook, you’re not existing. Take it or leave it.

Anyway, I post a lot! I can’t help it, I like seeing old photos, memories and I think, Facebook and Instagram helps me to restore these memories. Not to mention how I loveeee posting or sharing the special moments of my Son. But what really bothers me is when people start dropping sarcastic personal comments about what I post on social media (well, at least they say it in front of me) I know I should have seen it coming because I am all out there but do you really need to provide comments offensively? To think that most of my posts are in my stories and you have to option to view it or not.

I know I can’t really control what they say or think  (also I don’t really care what other people think, I will post what I want and you do have to option to view it or not) so my best option is to mute my posts from them to avoid getting their unwanted attention and comments.  So if you are my friend online and you can still see my posts/stories then you’re not who Im talking about. 🙂 🙂 🙂

It would be good if we support everyone whatever they want or even post (unless its socially offensive) but putting them down without any valid reason is a big NO NO NO.

What’s your say on social media? Do you post a lot? Or not? Have you received sarcastic comments from people just because you posted something?

 

2017: A look back

i was reading my 2018 horoscope overview and realized if my 2017 horoscope somehow come close on what was perceived prior 2017, funny that somehow the predictions were close to it, but yes! I do believe in zodiac signs and horoscopes or how the sun, moon, stars and planets aligned and its effects on someone’s life. Heh.

Anyway, I’ve been occupied with a lot of things, including the holiday rush and my baby, I was not able to update my blog for some weeks or even a month?

Looking back, 2017 was definitely a year of struggles, emotions and improvements all at the same time. Half of the year were hardships and failures and the second half were full of hope and progress.

I honestly think that this was a make or break year for my relationship and my family. I lost a whole lot of self-esteem and I’m glad that I’m somehow back on track.

Here’s a quick overview of how my 2017 went:

January: Well, the year started with the proofs and all, January 1 marked it. He received a text from someone saying “Happy New year too, babe”, after that, everything became a blur, we fought on the first day of the year. I knew then that that message will be the start of something more.

February: I felt distant, I knew that something was up! I’m living with a stranger and a life full of lies. We celebrated Valentine’s Day, he prepared something special but I smelled something fishy, definitely not the Honey Garlic Salmon that he made that night. He went out the next day, the prices were down, and so he might as well availed.

March: We fought almost every day and I started investigating and found his online accounts, his comments and all. I had panic and anxiety attacks. He kept on lying or lying with girls? Lol. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. I am watching and waiting of what will happen next. Almost thought that I am having post-partum whatever but I knew better. I felt sorry for my baby.

Still on track with my plans to save. I opened my UITF account.

April: Bam! I found out about it (Praying really helps!), running through his Grab history while he was sleeping, I was able to confirm them. He denied everything but it was all in front of us. Everything happened so fast. He hurt me physically and mentally. His father knew about it, I said it to everyone. He has no shame at all or was he?

May: It was hazy. He confessed. I was not happy, I wake up dragging myself to work. I kept on praying, I kept on reading on things to do. I was a mess. I came home drunk day after day. Self-esteem went downhill. My birthday was nothing special, it was the worst. I even went to a counsellor! I want to get out!!!

June: I found out that he tried to contact someone from that place. I decided to move. I went back to our house, to my parents’. I cried all day and night. I only had full of hate for him. A month full of contemplation. Full of doubts and decisions to made. I finally gave him a chance, our family a second chance.

I got so busy with my Baby’s first Birthday DIYs.

July:  It was my baby’s 1st birthday. We came back. I stopped checking his online accounts’ activities. I decided to focus on myself and my baby. Anxieties and nightmares are still there. Every night I pray for guidance.

August: Slowly I am starting to get back up. I keep moving but it is hard. Somehow living a normal life. My baby is growing more handsome every day!

Still focused on my goal. Finally opened my Stocks account but hasn’t started trading yet.

September: I decided to learn how to do make up. I watched tons of YouTube videos from Michelle Dy, Anna Cay and Tina Yong. I bought the necessary materials. I started to love make up!

October: I got back into reading and still more about make ups! Better late than never! Anyway, we celebrated his birthday like a normal family.

November: Christmas is fast approaching, we started our Christmas shopping as early and we also put up our Christmas tree last week of November. We went to a disastrous birthday party. There are still fights (financial and some personal things) but I am keeping my hopes high.

December: Fully scheduled Month. We had lots of events to attend. We went to a wedding, Christmas parties (went to our company Yearend event and I did my make up!!) and family gatherings. It is funny but whenever my baby sees us hugging he would beam and laugh out loud, definitely something that will always melt my heart.

Oh!! I started baking too! (Still needs more practice btw!) J J J

Well, I guess that’s it. First 6-7 months were definitely something I would rather forget but turns out, they were as clear as water while I’m writing this. I honestly mostly remember those first few months of the year than the recent ones. Heh!

If there’s one thing that I realized about this year, it was definitely all about myself and how strong I have become all these months. Some would ask me why I came back, I came back not because I’m weak, but because I am strong and I know that, everyone knows that. I was able to pick myself up with the help of my friends, best friends and my mother. I surely felt that something in me have changed into something better and prouder.

I came back stronger than before and more hopeful. I look at my son and have seen how fast he have grown and my love for him grows a billion hearts more. My growth game is definitely strong because of my son. 🙂

I will put on my Goals for 2018 for my next post!! Excited to make all of it into a reality!!

50 Questions

As I have always wanted, my blog has been and will always be as personal as possible. I do not even share this to my other social media accounts as I would want to keep all my rants and thoughts away from those people that I know. Away from criticism and unsolicited advises especially from people that pretends to care but really just wants or are looking for someone to be the topic of their afternoon coffee meet ups and random gossips.
Well Anyways, I thought to somehow distract myself from thinking of my current issues in life. I found these 50 Questions (50 Questions To Ask Someone If You Wanna Know Who They Really Are) from the Overrated Thought Catalog haha.
1. What is your favorite book?
2. Does your job make you happy?
3. What did you want to be when you were younger?
4. Why did your last relationship end?
5. What’s been your biggest mistakes so far in life and what did you learn?
6. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?
7. What is your top five favorite movies?
8. What are some of your favorite songs?
9. What qualities do you admire about your parents?
10. How would you describe your best friend? 
11. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?
12. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?
13. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
14. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?
15. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
16. Why do you think you’re still single?
17. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
18. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?
19. What is your greatest fear?
20. What are three things you value most about a person?
21. Who are five people you are closest with?
22. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?
23. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
24. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?
25. What’s your favorite beer?
26. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?
27. Who are you closer with your mom or your dad?
28. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
29. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?
30. Who was your favorite teacher and why?
31. What sport did you fall in love with?
32. What is the weirdest thing about you?
33. What was your longest relationship?
34. What would your best friend say is your best quality?
35. Who is your favorite historical figure?
36. What made you choose the college you went to?
37. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?
38. What food could you not live without?
39. Dogs or Cats?
40. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?
41. What was your best birthday?
42. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?
43. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?
44. What was the last book you read? And When?
45. Where do you usually get your news?
46. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?
47. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?
48. If you could get away with anything that you do?
49. Who is your greatest hero?
50. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?
These questions are as direct as they should be. But, I am thinking that while answering them, well might as well make that each question will serve as a blog entry for the coming days. I hope I’ll be able to complete this! 

Carelessly unaware

I’ve read something today and I’m not sure if that particular post from a friend (if she’s really a friend of mine because I’m suddenly having a change of heart) pertains also to me or not. Although some parts of the post is unrelated to her blog title, I think I was able to comprehend the vital parts of it well and I just had a sudden urge to write my feelings down, too. I believe I need to disclose my opinions and ideas regarding that post.

Yes, I know, I got a bit out of control when I shouted and made a scene with my manager and in front of the President of the company. Unprofessional, I know it is. But, sometimes when you’ve had enough, you lose your composure and you untimely get out of your shell. That’s what happened to me. I’m not perfect and I get angry too. I remember the time you said that you went hysterical at the school where you previously worked at because they were holding your supposed to be salary. See? No one’s impeccable and we get uncontrollable at times especially when we’re overwhelmed by raging emotions. It may be a minor reaction or a huge one, it makes no difference we’re all flawed. 

Let’s say your parents brought you up differently and in a nice manner, so do you have an exact idea on how my own parents brought me up? For you to compare our families just by the way we reacted on things?! I think, it’s just so unfair and unreasonable to do that. How people respond to things doesn’t necessarily depend on how they we’re taught by their parents. Do you even know the other factors of life and how a person develops?! A person’s personality and attitude is an end product of all experiences from his or her peers, environment and from the things that he or she sees from other person or even media. There’s a lot of considerations to put into mind not just how someone is being brought up by his or her parents. So please do not judge families or parents, because you don’t have an inkling idea about it.

Lastly, next time that you’re going to write, please write accordingly and make sure that the thoughts are in the appropriate places. Gather your ideas first before writing them down or better yet, read your post all over again and do proof reading or editing which ever way you’re comfortable with.

You were one of my few friends at work and I don’t even know now if we’re still like that. I just know that I can’t trust you now, I can’t talk to you like before and I can’t be with you because you’re the one who’s turning away from me, from us. You’ve become aloof and tactless. It’s all because of your insensitivity. 

I know, I don’t need to speak out, backfire or even answer your post because we don’t even know who’s the main person you’re talking about or if you’re pertaining to all of your past workmates. I just think, I need to let all my emotions come out because I’m a bit irritated with what you just did. However, it’s your blog post, I know you have your right to write everything that you want. On the other hand, this is also my blog and I can write anything and everything that’s on my train of thoughts. =)

Milk tea time

Here in the Philippines, Milk tea is becoming a real trend. You can see new Milk tea stalls and franchises everywhere. They are like mushrooms that sprout anywhere! And since Kae is not really a big fan. I asked her to try it for the first time. I’m not a fan either but once I liked the flavor, I will always crave for it no matter what. (I can still remember the taste of that Kuching 3 layer tea!)

Anyway, we dropped by Top tea! It’s also my first time trying that franchise and I must say that it’s really good.

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The ambiance is also good. Image

We ordered Sweet Caramel Milk Tea and the very Popular Wintermelon Milk tea

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ImageObviously, the spelling of Kae’s name  is incorrect. hehe

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Oh!! by the way,I love Kae’s choker! Planning to buy one for myself next time!

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Some ramdom shots  before we leave the place:

 

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Another, Fun-tastic bonding! =)

Are you under a spell?

I envy those girls who have boyfriends who are very affectionate and they’re not afraid to show that they are proud of their girlfriends especially through online sites like Facebook or Tumblr.  Making their girlfriend’s face their Profile picture and tagging her name almost everyday. I think it’s cute and sweet if they do that on special occasions.

But, when they do it everyday it becomes an annoying obsession. Irritating.