Like Crazy

So, I was looking for a nice movie just to get me through this night and this movie captured my senses. I’ve always been a self proclaimed hopeless romantic and I adore romantic films. When I saw this, I hurriedly browsed for it’s trailer and watched it on youtube. The music and the fact that Jennifer Lawrence was there, convinced me that I should watch it.

While watching it, I googled again and found a lot of good reviews about the movie. It was about a boy and a girl who fell in love with each other but the twist is that he’s American, she’s British, she came to the USA for her studies, her visa expired, she stayed and it didn’t matter how it could be problematic… then, she’s expulsed and sent back to the UK. That’s the start of their struggle with the heartaches of long-distance relationships.

A simple plot but the movie showed the reality of love, of being in love. Don’t get me wrong fairytales and happy endings are awesome but it’s good to not lose sight of reality. I was actually sobbing and crying while watching some heartbreaking parts. =/

“I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn’t, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn’t realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it’s the halves that halve you in half. I didn’t know, don’t know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.”

— Anna, like crazy

Reality bites: Trust

Trusting someone. Do we really need to trust someone? Is it that important? Can you really trust someone wholeheartedly? Without any questions and doubts? Are you brave enough to take a risk and trust someone?

I’ve been betrayed many times, by my friends, special someone and even a family member.

Different aspects and levels but still.. I was betrayed.

The feeling is nothing but awful, it’s like letting them bite you in the ass.  It’s exposing yourself out in the open and letting them have a feast.

Trust makes you vulnerable but it also opens us to new possibilities and chances. If you trust too much, you will be deceived and if not you’ll just let the opportunities pass. You have to remind yourself not to open up and be too honest with people. They said that “The best proof of love is trust”, therefore you have to trust yourself in order to love yourself. I can’t really apply that on relationships though because for me Trust in relationships are a bit overrated and overused that it becomes vague and meaningless.

I think that trusting is not about the other person, it’s not about how good he/she treats you because I can assure you that.. someday, somehow they will betray you in any way without you even knowing it.

I’m not a hater neither am I a bitter person, I just lack the will to trust others anymore. I believe that it’s important to trust God first and then yourself.

Cursed is the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength, Whose heart departs from the Lord.” Jeremiah 17:5

“change is the…

“change is the only permanent thing in this world”
I once said this in my report while I was in Cavite and I never thought it will cross my mind again.
Change is natural and good, but people’s reaction to change is unpredictable and irrational, just like mine.For me.. nothing is more upsetting when people change, especially when I am part  of that change and when I don’t really know..the exact reason..of why they should.
Is change based on petty quarrels and small misunderstandings?
Why the heck should they make a big deal out of it?!

I really hate it when people make a huge deal about things that should not be taken seriously.
I look at the world in a very realistic way.. I always see things in the way of how they will fall into place..
and that leads me to expect less from people because sometimes when my expectations are not met..
that really leaves me feeling so destructive and unused.
And when people begin to say something about “change”
it leaves me hanging.

People have different meanings of change..

For me, change is a sign.
A sign of something painful..
something inevitable and if people have the same meaning of that change.. then maybe..
that change should start now..for change is not about timing..
change starts when you decide!
Change is never easy to deal with.
Some are against it that they would rather remain in stasis.
However, some also pointed out that change is certain. It is a process that cannot be avoided rather it must be endured.

So, whatever that “change” is..
I only hope that it is for the better, including me or not.

And honestly..that’s my indication..
I guess it’s true.. simple things..really make a huge impact and that’s what really disappoints me,
Well, all  I can say is, i’m really good in handling “change”.