My thoughts in restrospect

> My dad’s being so weird, telling stories about him that I’ve never heard before. Is this just old age or something is really wrong? Should I take this seriously?

> I will always wonder how and why you became a manager. Poor decision making, bad attitude, defective English grammar and very inarticulate. Maybe, I should blame all this luck on your voodoo doll. Should this persists, I must give a notice of withdrawal as soon as possible.

> My friends would be skeptical if they found out how our house looks like now. Thanks to hoarding, cats, dogs and the lack of will to clean the house.

> I don’t know if this is jealousy but I noticed that whenever I ask him to have a photo with me, he seems so annoyed. But then, he likes taking photos of himself with his friends, especially those pretty girls (sweet poses too). This is me giving simple things a shit. But this is how I feel, yet again thank you doubts.

> I’m so stressed that I’m having unusual thoughts, with me giving a big deal out of them. Sorry.

My day: There is something seriously wrong somewhere.

It was a truly long and unintelligible day for me. Too plenty to talk about and to short to whine about. Let’s allow the bullets to speak out.

> Woke up late because my work starts at 11am

> Tried my charm talking to lots of people.

> Tried getting along with my co-workers hoping that they would respond positively.

> Observed another Treadmill test. Confusing but apprehensible.

>Saw my boyfriend’s cousin and aunt together with the children having a check up at the clinic. Had a short chat with them.

> Had an awry PPD skin test injection to a 2 year old child. This made my day into a gruesome one. I’m so paranoid that the injection spot would form an edema or be inflamed and would lead me to have an IR. =((( That would be the end of me.

> I was (and still) preoccupied the remaining hours after the incident.

> Went to my boyfriend’s house (to eat, because I know my mother will not prepare food for me), found out he’s sick.

> His parents interrogating me and asking questions about my new work, salary, phone fights and my parents not knowing about Biggy. Pressure time.

> Sudden turn of emotion when I saw Biggy’s baby pic and His father’s baby pic. They look like twins!

Right now, I’m so sleepy but I cannot sleep. I keep on thinking about that injection incident and I feel like I’m about to burst from my paranoia and uneasiness. So help me Lord God.

Protected: My crackpot mind and my creepy dream

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

God is working …

God is working things out for you, even if you don’t feel it. Have faith and be thankful. Where faith and hope grows, miracles blossom

I just wish I can put this in my mind and in my heart. I’m having nonstop worries and doubts, Life is testing me again and I’m exaggerating (as always). I keep on having excuses which is a positive sign of laziness and I’m forming pity feelings for myself. All the negative energy are all leading to my way. I keep on whining but it’s no good and of no use. Its confusing when you can’t determine if the signs are for you to give up or just a test to see how long you could hold on. I’m so depressed. I don’t know what I want anymore. Oh Lord God I need your guidance.