Quick post: 2 weeks, Acid test

It’s been exactly 2 weeks since I started with my new work as a Data Management Coder/Medical Coder in Makati. The first few days was really hard because, I don’t know anyone and I can’t seem to fit in. Not because I’m shy or scared but because I can’t start or keep a conversation with them since I was feeling really sick for those first few days. 

I’ve had lots of late and an absent because of my laziness caused by my sickness (plus of course the transportation adjustments that I’m still working on). Now that I’m feeling a lot better, I’m starting to cope up with them and really try to get along. I can say that I feel so much better with this group of people unlike in my previous work, where I act so stiffly and it’s as if I’m more of a robot than a person. 

We’re still having some training regarding our positions and hopefully by February we will be able to do the tasks. =)

Bright Side

Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.

Tomorrow will be my first day at work and I can’t be more nervous and excited to see and to know all about my new job. I was not able to take a rest from my previous work, and now I have to attend to my new work. It’s a bit frustrating and tiring but I have to cope with it. It’s a bit different from my job, which is of course being a nurse but I’m ready to take challenges and risks. 

I’m still not done with all the requirements, especially with the medical exam (I’m a bit scared though, since I’m anemic and still sick from this cough). But, I’m keeping my hopes up that everything will turn out okay, if this is for me, I believe that everything will fall in their right places. 

I expect that i’ll be able to get well with the new people at work and to be able to easily adapt to the environment and my schedule. I can do this! 

It’s about to end

As the year closes, I’m also closing up another chapter of my life, which is resigning at my current work and moving on to another kind of job. Still not done with the requirements but I hope that everything will turn out fine.

If there’s anything that I’ll miss at my work, it will surely be the friends that I’ve made especially with the newbies like me. I’ve only known them for less than 5 months but I already made an attachment with them. They kept me sane.

Few days ago, we decided to celebrate Jen’s birthday and our (Genesis and I) exit.

It was not that well planned, but we were able to somehow pull it off.

I was the game master that night and we truly had fun. We talked about everything and mostly all about our jobs and experiences at work.

I will surely miss these people. =(

Catching my breath

It’s been so long since I last posted here in my wordpress blog site  I’ve been sick and still sick. For the last two weeks of December, a lot of things has happened already. We had Christmas party at NBC tent and we also had our own Christmas party at a Buffet restaurant. I had my CBC done and found out that I have low hemoglobin and slight increase in wbc, I got really worried because my cough and colds is still so active and I always feel weak and tired, that’s why I went and visited my doctor who gave me various kinds of medicines that made my wallet unhappy. My feet and legs are always in pain whenever I go home, from too much walking and standing. I just feel so exhausted and if I didn’t go to the doctor, I’ll faint again.  

Yesterday, I went to Tagaytay with my boyfriend and we had a hard time with out transportation but at least we made it. On our way home, someone called me through my phone and told me that they’re hiring me for their company. I really had a tough time because they wanted me to start as soon as January 2 and that means I have to pass my resignation letter 15 days before I go. It was difficult, I even caught my self staring blankly through the window of the bus, I’m thinking of what will happen, of what I will do and if this is really what I wanted. It’s difficult to move again to a different career path, a new work and environment. Aside from the fact that I’m really not enjoying the company of those people at my present job, I also really wanted to earn more money because I want to do more things and to give more to my parents especially my mom. I want to study and I want to learn. I have another goal which is to become a Nurse on a passenger ship/ cruise ship , but maybe it can wait and I haven’t even tried applying yet. I just wish I can do all those things in one.

I always feel like I’m running out of time and that I feel old. I don’t know why but, until now, I’m not sure of what I’ll do. I’ll just try and try until I find it out.

Be brilliant!

It was my very first time to attend a company Christmas party, not just a Christmas party but a very grand celebration.

The theme was to wear Gray, white or silver for the party, since I’m broke, I decided to ask my mom to just make a dress for me and she didn’t fail me. I bought the materials, designed what I wanted and viola! She was able to do the exact dress that I had in my mind.

I wore the shoes that I bought for only 300 pesos, the dress materials for 200 and the necklace for 120 pesos. I saved a lot!

I let down my hair and had it straightened up for the event because my new co-workers haven’t  seen me with that kind of hairstyle.

To be honest, I was not really able to enjoy the whole event but I like dressing up and taking photos.

At first, I thought my dress was too revealing but then, I noticed how it looked good in photos!

My day was complete because my loving boyfriend fetched me and I got home early.

Trying for Another shot

Tomorrow, I’ll be having an interview with another company. I’m kind of hesitant because I’m not really sure about the position that I’m applying for. It was a company referred by my College friend and she’s also not sure what positions are open. What I do know, is that, I want to try my luck.

In my recent posts regarding my work, I’ve been ranting and sharing my feelings about my co workers and the way they manage the clinic or company. I’m not happy, I’m just getting used to doing the work and talking to them even though I don’t really want to mingle with them. This is the first time that I’ve met a bunch of people  who’s materialistic, histrionic and plastic (I usually meet one or two, but this time it’s a group of people). I don’t want to be like them or even know more about them. I’m just tired of pretending. I can still remember when I got that job, I was so damn happy, but now, smiling is just a smile, I can’t even show any real emotion. I’m tired.

I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow, of course I’m hoping for a positive remark. If not, then, I will try again and again. I’m open to changes and opportunities. If there’s a better one, I will not hesitate to grab and take that chance, even if it means a turn in my career choice. This time, I’m certain. Wish me luck tomorrow! =)

Quick post: When things go wrong..

“If you don’t like the system, get out of the system”

A quote, I remembered from my coworker at my previous job. I lasted for about a year and months with my last work and I can say that even though there are a lot of issues that I’ve had with that company, I stayed very long because I find comfort with my co workers and they listen to our complaints, although they don’t always do much with our concerns.

Right now, I’m planning of resigning, not this month but maybe next month or until January, I can’t take the pressure any longer, aside from the irate patients which I sometimes can get a hold of because I’m not good in anger management either. I also experience, lack of comfort and complacency from my co workers, including the managers and staffs. Even those people are backstabbing and condemning each other.

This place is the worst! Sometimes, you just feel that enough is really enough. As much as I want to voice out my feelings and observations, I can’t and I don’t want to cause more misunderstandings and chaos.

Right now, I just can’t wait for this year to end.

Make it three!

I’ve been working in my job as a clinic nurse for 3 months now, to be specific, Nov. 1 was the mark of my third month and I must say that I’ve come this far with my eyes closed and my hands clasped. It’s been a difficult 3 months. I lost a few pounds and I’ve had dark circles around my eyes, I really looked old, I feel like I’ve been here for ages!!

There are a lot of things that I’ve experienced and realized for that 3 months, Here are some of them:

> I realized that it’s challenging to work inside the mall. Everyday that I go to work or my break time, I see a lot of new products, discounted gadgets and buffets that I just can’t resist. This is were self control and self limitations comes. Whenever it’s payday, I always make it a point to eat or dine in a fine restaurant or maybe take out a food to satisfy my cravings. This is really compromising my money and as well as body. Whew!

> It’s true that you cannot please everybody, same way that they cannot please you too. There are a lot of people that you will never understand or you will never like no matter what you do. I’ve already mastered the art of faking a smiling or laughing face just to make them feel satisfied. Most of them are kind of weird and moody, and no matter what they do or what you do, I always think that they are irritating and annoying. Good thing, one of my Bestfriends is there or else I’ll be found in a  mental facility.

>Eating alone is not that bad. I don’t feel like eating with most of them. I just eat out with those people whom I’m comfortable being with and when they’re not around, I just usually swift away from the clinic and be lost somewhere in the food court area. I feel quite relieved to eat alone, away from those people that just worsens my stress. That way, I don’t have the need to think of any topic to keep them entertained while eating. 

> Wealthy and educated people don’t usually act the way that they should. Most of them are a bit rude and lacks patience. Sometimes they will yell at you even though you’re not the one to blame and even though you have explained very well their queries and complaints, they still give you the high tone of voice that only your parents can do to you! Yes, they are well-off but that doesn’t give them any license to make you look bad and say inappropriate words to you. Simple and a bit cliche but this is the reality. Money for them is power. 

> Weekends are truly special. When you work in a shifting schedule, sometimes you realized how lucky you are to be given a one day off that’s a Saturday or Sunday. You just want to make use of it in a very productive way like going out with friends or your special someone, or maybe just staying at home watching you fave TV series and movies. 

>It’s nice to wake up early in the morning. Time is so fast during the morning while time is like forever during the afternoon and night. Of course, nobody wants to go home late at night. Be minded that during the night, there are a lot of scary corners in Metro Manila that you have to be alert. 

>I learned and got used to drinking coffee and teas. I never liked coffee but ever since I started working in the clinic, I always feel a bit weak and loss of motivation. I felt like drinking coffee, can actually help me..or maybe not.

> Never bring your stress and sadness at home. Lately, I’ve been so stressed that I even panicked and got paranoid about work and some other things that whenever I go home, I tend to drop the bomb onto my parents and I know that it’s not right. I just lack self restraint.

>Friends always make a way to see you and be with you. I feel so special whenever my friends adjust to my schedule and financial capabilities just to be with me. They are wonderful. Workmates and acquaintances can never suffice your true friends. 

There! I’ve said it all.. or not? I know there are still a lot of things that I want to say but, some of them are lost in my train of thoughts. Maybe, I’ll just add them on my fourth month or maybe sixth month! I’m just keeping my fingers crossed. 

 

Thoughts: Getting through

I think, I’m finally getting used to the things that we’re doing at work and as well as with the people. Although I still feel a bit annoyed and irritated with some of them, I really try to tolerate and just not care at all. 

I just turned two months with my job and I can’t believe that I was able to stay that long, I was about to give up a month ago. I still make mistakes and I get embarrassed but I know that it’s all just part of being a newbie. I’m still looking forward for more flustering things to come. 

I’m not sure until when I can stay with these people but I really want to get out as soon as possible. I’m getting used to them but still I’m not at ease with them. It’s funny that some of them said that they notice that I’m a very reserved and quiet person, which is really not in real life. I’m close-mouthed and modest because I don’t really want to commingle with them and be close to them. It’s really hard to give trust to these people at might want to bring you down someday. I want nothing more but workmates. I’m sure they also feel the same way with me. =)

I’m staying because I need experience (to be honest), and I don’t want to be stuck in this place for a long time. I’m hoping for a better opportunity sooner. Keeping my hopes up for this!

Too much to handle

There’s just too much going on right now with work.

I’m so close to the verge of giving up. Things are just getting too hard and I’m getting too overwhelmed. There’s not a day that I go home feeling all happy or well. I always feel wasted and stressed. Their presence suffocates me. Whenever I’m around them, I feel like my head is in a bubble. I can’t concentrate, I can’t connect, I can’t survive. I’m still struggling with wanting to be around.
I’m so scared that if this thing/situation with work continues, I’ll probably lose my passion in Nursing. I don’t want it to happen, I’ve experienced and met a lot of people and workmates in the past but these kinds of people are different. They have such strong sense of power that makes me so weak and sad. This isn’t my normal cycle of pain, this is so overwhelming and consuming. I feel locked out of life and happiness. I’ve been asking a lot of my friends and as well as my mom on how to cope up with this, but I still have no answers and solution.
Everyday, I go to work and I feel like giving up, always hoping that the day would end already and I’ll go home and eat, sit and rest with my dogs and parents, despite the worries and burdens of work. But then again, I would wake up again the following morning trying to face yet another day I would feel giving up.
I know, this is a blessing, a huge one but how come it’s so difficult for me to handle this thing. Have I lost my sense of compassion and strength? Everything has gotten worse. It’s only been 1 month and 2 weeks. But, I already feel like giving up. I’m already halfway given up.

I don’t know what to do anymore.