“Don’t let the bastards get you down.”

Oh how I missed writing. I’ve been really busy with work lately, early to work and going home really late. That’s how my life’s been up to.

Occupied and stressed. Time is so fast, didn’t even notice that I’m now in my sixth month in my work. I love the job, love my friends, although sometimes I keep having misunderstandings with my co-workers and TL. You know those times that you just can’t contain your emotions anymore and you feel like exploding? yea, those are the times that I loose control over my patience and unintentionally hurt my co-workers. It’s not that I’m a warfreak person but sometimes, I just felt so unappreciated and whenever I do good things for them it always turns out that I’m the one who’s ruining the situations. Ugh.

Anyway, I know how much I’m giving all my efforts for the team and the process. I know that all these things will somehow pay off in time. I won’t ever let them get on my way. Keeping it real positive.

Fine and dandy

Not sure if those are the words that best explains the positive things that’s happening with me and my work.

I miss my old friends, old workmates from EPI and as well as Healthway but I believe that I made the right decision to accept this job.It’s been a long time since I posted something here in my blog and it’s all because I’ve been enjoying my current job, I’m getting along really well with my workmates. I don’t feel any competition or negative things when I’m with them. Our Team Leader is one of my friends , they always make me laugh and I get appreciated a lot.

Sometimes, my male workmates tend to get really annoying. They always notice the things that I’m doing and they also get touchy at time, massaging my back, pinching my face and even my tummy and fats.
It’s really iritating but I try to tolerate them as much as I can. They are still really nice to me though.

Aside from those annoying things, this place is really refreshing. I’m satisfied and I can see myself staying here for a long time. =)

Jeni and Geoff’s Wedding day =)

 ”Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.” 

I’m a sucker for romance  that’s why I really love weddings! The last time, was when I was a Bridesmaid for my Cousin’s wedding, I swear, that was not really a nice experience, my make up was over the top and I can’t even comprehend how I manage to fit in my dress. Well, at least I was able to experience that.

This time was my friend from my previous work at a Korean Teaching Center. She was my trainer and then as time went by, just like the usual story, we became friends until we changed work. I was really excited that day because Karen, Abi and Aecel were also coming and I haven’t seen them for months!

It was a simple yet a beautiful wedding.

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our table filled with rose petals. =)

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I love their mermaid wedding cake!

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The Bride and the Groom

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I missed them so much, we had lots of laughter and of course picture taking! I wonder who’s next?! hehehe =)

And as for Jeni and Geoff, We are praying that God guides you in your new adventure. May God pour out blessings on you two. Godbless and have numerous kids together! xoxo

Too much to handle

There’s just too much going on right now with work.

I’m so close to the verge of giving up. Things are just getting too hard and I’m getting too overwhelmed. There’s not a day that I go home feeling all happy or well. I always feel wasted and stressed. Their presence suffocates me. Whenever I’m around them, I feel like my head is in a bubble. I can’t concentrate, I can’t connect, I can’t survive. I’m still struggling with wanting to be around.
I’m so scared that if this thing/situation with work continues, I’ll probably lose my passion in Nursing. I don’t want it to happen, I’ve experienced and met a lot of people and workmates in the past but these kinds of people are different. They have such strong sense of power that makes me so weak and sad. This isn’t my normal cycle of pain, this is so overwhelming and consuming. I feel locked out of life and happiness. I’ve been asking a lot of my friends and as well as my mom on how to cope up with this, but I still have no answers and solution.
Everyday, I go to work and I feel like giving up, always hoping that the day would end already and I’ll go home and eat, sit and rest with my dogs and parents, despite the worries and burdens of work. But then again, I would wake up again the following morning trying to face yet another day I would feel giving up.
I know, this is a blessing, a huge one but how come it’s so difficult for me to handle this thing. Have I lost my sense of compassion and strength? Everything has gotten worse. It’s only been 1 month and 2 weeks. But, I already feel like giving up. I’m already halfway given up.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

Spotlight: Work issues

Oh how I miss blogging. Since I started my new work, I haven’t continuously updating my blog and I miss doing it.

This past few days, I’ve been so frantic with all the work loads and with a lot of new information with my work. I’m so distressed and troubled. I’m so much affected with every word and move that they’ll say especially about me. What irritates me the most is that whenever they try to compare us (all the newbies). Every one of us has their own style and own way of learning, some people learn simultaneously  but some learn slowly. It depends on their nature, habits and personality. Ugh! I just hate it when they do that!  I hate it, it’s just so unfair!

I just can not make sense of people at work, as well as the irate patients, they say one thing to your face and another behind your back.And for some sick, deranged reason I am meant to feel okay with this, as if it was my choice to end up this way?! And I am also suppose to be okay with this, I am suppose to pretend and just don’t care about all of it. I just don’t know how to blend with them!  My only consolation above all of those things is the smile that some of the patients give me whenever I talk to them. 

Because of all the issues and concerns that I’ve been receiving and experiencing from my co-workers, managers and other clinic staffs, I keep on blubbering them to my friends.

And I can see that everyone has given up on me, the whole entire world has given up on me.They tell me, this is just new work blues, get over it. But there is so much emotions, hurt, fear and pain built up in me, I just can’t contain it anymore.
Everyone has given up on me.

For now, I must live with this quote:

All things are difficult before they are easy.
Thomas Fuller

Old friends meet new friends

I almost thought that the get together will not happen, I was about to cancel everything because of the unexpected circumstances that happened yesterday. The plan was to go to a bar or to go clubbing and then sleep over at Krishna’s crib. But, since she has to go to their office early morning we have to cancel the sleep over. Plus, it was also my early birthday celebration with my friends.

Since, Pong was allowed to go this time, I realized that I should not waste that chance and should continue the plan but I just asked them to have dinner instead. They were cool with it.

Before we go to the place, I was thinking on how to get them all feel at ease since it’s their first time meeting each other. I was wondering if they will get along really well.

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Krishna and Pong are my two best and closest friends ever since we we’re Second year college. I don’t think I can make it through college, especially our major is Nursing, without them. We’ve already experience so many downturns in our friendship already that I think, whatever happens, even though we don’t always see each other, the love and care will always be there. We have different personalities but you will not notice that whenever we’re together because we somehow bring out the silliness in each other. Pong is somehow shy and reserved. But, whenever we’re together, she can be really funny, she has gestures and sometimes facial expressions that you’ll not really understand but it will make you really laugh. Pong is really not her nickname, but we made this as her Korean name and ended as her College nickname. Everyone in school calls her Pong since then. One thing I can say about her, when she’s in love, she’s really, I mean really in love!  Krishna, on the other hand is nostalgic for me. Whenever I see her, I just feel at home. We have almost the same taste in music, clothes and both of us loves writing. (check her out at: kountingkrishes) We can talk about everything under the sun, her out of this world and over the top ideas is what makes her really amusing.

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However, my new friends, Karen and Abi are both really funny people. Karen, is a ninja, when she was still in the office, she always has plans on how to make me “gulat”. She looks older but her antics are more childlike than mine. She’s always on the go too. Abi, was one of those persons who I used to think that I would never like, aside from her name (which, I really really doesn’t like) she was also a bully. When she’s angry she’s really angry and when she’s nice she’s really nice. There were some attitudes of her that I don’t like but they don’t outshine those the ones that I like.

So, here’s what happened. I went with Abi because we came from work. When I saw Karen, I was surprised! She lost a whole load of weight I must say, I like it better when she’s still in her average weight. I don’t think being thin, suits her well. Funny when I saw Pong, I told her that she’s getting taller and when Krishna came and saw her, she said the exact same thing that I said. There we’re so many funny and mind blowing things that happened that night. Karen and Krishna found out that they both had the same dream of becoming a housewife. Karen asked us (Krishna, Pong and I) If we all both have the same taste when it comes to boys or was there a time that we liked a same boy. We all answered a big “No”. I think, that will never happen, us fighting over a boy. Never! Abi got an idea that we are all friends because we have the same kind of eyes! Funny, but we never thought about that.lol. We also talked about ways on what Krishna should do to get the love of her life. It was one of her problems nowadays. Karen and Abi gave her some tips.

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The night ended and I was happy because everything turned out well. Abi texted me that Krishna and Poi (yeah she texted the wrong name again) are cool people. While Krishna said that Karen and Abi are enormously funny. They both had good thoughts about each other and that’s good! It was one of those times that you really treasure your friends and  thank God that friendship exists. Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose. So, I’m thankful that I had a set of good ones.