Call the shots

Time just flew by me and voila! It’s already March. 😊

As much as I want to be consistent in updating this Blog. It is just hard to do. Work has been overwhelming, I am pretty much occupied with the Project that we are working on. How I wish this ends soon but I really do not have any clue on how and when will this end.

January was disappointing, and February is a mix of extremes as well. I am very much concerned and worried about this NCOV-19 Global spread. Numbers of cases keep on adding up daily and it has become the scare of the year already.  We’re suppose to have our first family Out of town this year (July) but I am really scared about this. I’m scared for my son and most especially my parents. I just wish everything will be stable and cases would minimize and recover soon. Let us all pray for this to end.

We also got worried and stressed with how Mason is acting up at school. He’s becoming defiant and won’t even sit still. He keeps on saying No to everything. He follows instructions when its just us but at school, he’s a runner, like really, I mean it. He’s keeps on running and won’t sit down for any activity. He would at times but only when he likes to. His dad and I got really concerned that we had to implement new rules in the house and some changes in how we discipline him.

On a more personal note, February was also a very productive Month for me, and for us. We celebrated Valentines day by eating out as a family and opening our First Joint account. We also opened up MP2 investment and I guess, everything is going according to plan in terms of our plan to save up. I am so proud at how good he is doing in saving and preparing for our plans. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I have asked him to follow LAW OF ATTRACTION and we put our Long term Goals on our Refrigerator so we can see it everyday 😊. How do you keep track of your Goals?

And ohhhh I also lost weight by Intermittent Fasting, I actually started late November last year and I tried to follow the plan through December but it was really hard due to the celebrations for Christmas and New year. January came and I still am losing some weight until February (although I am not clean eating, there’s still some sweets and lots of carbs) But I am really in awe that I was able to maintain my current weight which is 50-51kg (From almost 60kg). A lot of my friends also noticed the changes and I plan to clean eat hopefully this Month.

Its only March and we are already progressing with the Financial goals and my Weight Goal.

I hope that this summer, I’ll be able to pursue my plan of learning how to sew and more online learning. I’ll add teaching Mason more as well this summer.

Too much to handle

There’s just too much going on right now with work.

I’m so close to the verge of giving up. Things are just getting too hard and I’m getting too overwhelmed. There’s not a day that I go home feeling all happy or well. I always feel wasted and stressed. Their presence suffocates me. Whenever I’m around them, I feel like my head is in a bubble. I can’t concentrate, I can’t connect, I can’t survive. I’m still struggling with wanting to be around.
I’m so scared that if this thing/situation with work continues, I’ll probably lose my passion in Nursing. I don’t want it to happen, I’ve experienced and met a lot of people and workmates in the past but these kinds of people are different. They have such strong sense of power that makes me so weak and sad. This isn’t my normal cycle of pain, this is so overwhelming and consuming. I feel locked out of life and happiness. I’ve been asking a lot of my friends and as well as my mom on how to cope up with this, but I still have no answers and solution.
Everyday, I go to work and I feel like giving up, always hoping that the day would end already and I’ll go home and eat, sit and rest with my dogs and parents, despite the worries and burdens of work. But then again, I would wake up again the following morning trying to face yet another day I would feel giving up.
I know, this is a blessing, a huge one but how come it’s so difficult for me to handle this thing. Have I lost my sense of compassion and strength? Everything has gotten worse. It’s only been 1 month and 2 weeks. But, I already feel like giving up. I’m already halfway given up.

I don’t know what to do anymore.