Baby No. 2 Soon?

I’ve been running around telling everyone how I want to have another baby by end of this year. And I’m like really desperately praying it will be a girl this time! (Giving my full trust in the Chinese Calendar!)Lol

I really want another baby. Bryan and I have been discussing about this and he agrees. He wants another one too and we want it by next year so that before I turn 35 ( As you know being pregnant by 35 and up is already a risky pregnancy) We will have two kids when I am 32 years old. Haha!

It’s hard because we don’t have any helper around to look after the kids (thank goodness for my Mom!) but she’s getting older and I don’t want to stress her so much. I am the kind of person who likes to plan things and I want everything to turn out as planned, but it’s hard especially when you have a toddler. This is why most of the time, I get to feel really frustrated like in budgeting finances and our schedules. So with this said, I know that having another baby will definitely wreck all our laid plans for the future and we have to just try to go with the flow and make use of what we have at the moment.

I always thought that if they can do it then we can do it too! Hehe! I remembered one of my UBER drivers (yes Uber way back then!) shared his stories to me and how he and his wife were able to surpass all the hurdles of being parents. He mentioned that every day after his shift, he would go as fast as he could to their house so that his wife can leave and work, they try as much as possible to take turns in taking care of the kids while one of them works, he said that there’s no really easy way but looking back he didn’t really feel sad or tired but he felt accomplished that as parents they were able to look after them and have their jobs as well.

I don’t know yet but right now, I am just so excited to have another one and maybe, once we have her or him? Then we can set out what we need to do. 🙂

When it’s over

There are days when I wake up and tell myself that it is over. It’s definitely over.

Today is one of those days. 

I feel like I am always being haunted with those places and faces. The rooms and their conversations.

But then I turned around, I see my son sleeping soundly and think to myself that maybe I can still try. I can try for him. 

I prayed and I cried. I did not see my son as a hindrance but a sign of that little hope, that maybe everything can still work out. 

I held him and kissed him. This tiny hope is all I really need right now. 🙂